20 Questions

Chapter 29

It's always been the little moments that I love the most. Sitting by the window when the sun shines in, the smell of grass after it has just been cut, the way a mother looks at her newborn baby with an instant unconditional love. They are simple, but they are everything. Lying next to Hunter while I run my hand over his chest is one of those moments. No words are spoken, no explanation needed. It is one of those times when nothing else matters. It's that little glimpse of happiness that, if you are lucky, you get to experience again. These moments can't be taken for granted because they can slip through our hands as quickly as they were put there. I see it every day in my profession. We attempt to detach ourselves from the patients we lose, but there is no denying human connection. There's nothing easy about watching a man say his final goodbyes to the love of his life, the person who has been in every single one of his memories, good and bad. The dying patient may be just that to you, but to them, it is the greatest loss of their lifetime. It is the end to an era of togetherness. It is lost companionship and the division of two souls bonded together. So, you do your job and keep her comfortable while he holds her hand until her heart stops beating and his starts breaking. If you are lucky enough, you will find that one person, that one great love that delivers your brightest happiness and also your darkest sorrow.

I have prayed for that bond. Even in my long-term relationships, I secretly knew it wasn't my great love. They weren't my soul mate. They were merely a stepping stone to something better, someone that God planned for me and only me. I may have slipped on those stones, but I always caught myself and carried on because I knew there was something more magnificent at the end of the path.

Is Hunter the end of my path?

Is he the person that grabs my hand and leads me out of the pebbled creek into the majestic meadow?

The thought of leaving here without him physically pains me. If you would have told me two weeks ago that I would find the person that makes me question everything, I would have told you that you were insane. I would be cynical and say that you can't fall in love in a few days, no matter if you spent every single second together. It wasn't realistic, but here I am questioning everything that I've ever known and believed to be true. The irony is not lost on me.

"Merry Christmas Eve, pretty girl," Hunter says with a precious sleepy smile. He really is darling in the morning.

"Merry Christmas Eve, handsome," I reply.

"Are you excited about tonight?"

"I am, I really am. I already have my dress and shoes. What time do all the festivities start?" I ask.

He pushes my messy hair out of my face, "I think I heard that dinner is served at five, but they have a happy hour starting at four. They have a live band that will play after dinner. There will be dancing and whatnot."

I grab my phone and it reads 10:32 a.m. I can't believe I slept this late. It was definitely a long day yesterday, but I loved the way it ended. I tell Hunter that I have some things to do today and he said that he had planned on chilling with the guys anyway. I love that he has his brothers and that he doesn't feel the need to spend every second with me. I am one of those people who has to have some alone time or I start feeling suffocated. When that happens, I withdraw.

He gives me a sweet, lingering kiss and leaves the room. For a girl who prides herself on independence and alone time, I find myself missing him as soon as he walks out the door. As much as I love spending time with him, it will be difficult to buy him a Christmas present with him there. I pondered all night about whether to get him a gift. I'm not sure exactly what to get him, but I need it to be personal and heartfelt. I pull my hair into a ponytail and apply a small amount of makeup. I'm not putting much into my appearance because I will be putting in a significant amount of effort tonight. I throw on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt and grab my belongings.