20 Questions

Chapter 75

The movie was better this year, but the extracurricular activities were lacking. My parents sat beside us so I had to settle for just handholding and an occasional kiss to the temple. After the movie, Hunter and the guys are in an intense game of air hockey in the game room so I take a seat on the bench until they're done. My dad makes his way over to sit with me, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"Jenna Bear, you picked a good one," my dad says, pointing at one particular air hockey contestant. I glance over at Hunter, chest bumping and trash-talking with Patrick after scoring a point on Bryson.

"Well, not at this particular moment, but normally yes. I did."

He laughs as we watch the unsportsmanlike gloating taking place.

"I mean it. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time...maybe ever. He really brings out the best in you, kiddo. I've really enjoyed spending this time with you guys and getting to know him. I must admit that I was a little overwhelmed meeting not only him, but all his brothers, too. But I tell you, those boys adore the shit out of you. Every single one of them have told me how much they love you like a little sister."

"Dad, they are the greatest group of guys ever. Bryson and I had a little disagreement when we first met, but I cleared that up real quick."

"I have no doubt you did," he tells me, bumping his shoulder against mine. "That's my girl. I can't wait to have them up to the lake. You and I can show them how to catch fish. We can take them out on the boat and grill out at night." I look at him and laugh. "What?" he asks.

"You sound just like me. I told them the same thing. I know you always wanted a son, maybe this is your chance. Hell, now you have five of them."

His face falls and I ponder on what part of my statement troubled him.

"JB, I am excited to have them up there, but you need to know something. When your mom miscarried, I was devastated. I know you don't remember much of it because you were so young. I was heartbroken, but everything happened the way it was meant to. I want you to know that I never felt like I missed out on anything because I didn't have a son. You were and are everything that I have ever needed. Just like I told Hunter, you are my fishing buddy, my right hand, and my best friend. I wouldn't trade my relationship with you for five hundred sons."

"Aww dad, thank you for saying that. I don't know what I would do without you. I always knew that I would marry somebody just like my dad. Daddy, I found him. He reminds me so much of you in so many ways. He is kind and protective and just flat out extraordinary. I knew you would see how amazing he is just like I did. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I have the best dad a girl could ask for and a man that loves me with everything he has."

I lay my head against my dad's chest, his arms wrap around me and I find myself in one of those moments again. Everything is right in the world and I am right where I am supposed to be.

"Well, let's wrangle this rowdy group up and head on back. I heard something about an epic snowball fight and they have no idea they are up against the champion."

I roll my eyes and stand up to gather up the rest of the crew. My mom and Helen are playing a claw game and it looks like Helen has successfully retrieved the ugliest green teddy bear in the machine. My heart swells when I see her excited about her prize and my mom embracing her in a motherly hug. Helen may have lost hers and the guys may have never really had one, but from here on out, we are family.

Hunter wraps his arm around my waist and kisses my forehead. We start to walk out and I see my dad flash me a loving smile. I really am the luckiest girl in the world.

"Helen, that is very possibly the ugliest bear I have ever seen," Bryson says on the ride back.

"You shut your face. You're just jealous that you don't have one," she counters back.

Bryson gives her a smile and she goes back to admiring her unfortunate-looking stuffed animal. It really is ugly with a missing eye and lopsided ears, but she is so proud of it that I would never rain on her parade. As the ride goes on, I look over at Helen who is still looking down at her bear, a tear falling down her cheek. Placing my hand on hers, she looks up and quickly wipes the tear from her face.

"You ok?" I whisper to her.

She gulps and gives me a nod. "I just miss my son. He used to love teddy bears. He wouldn't have cared how ugly this one really is," she halfheartedly giggles. My own eyes glisten as she gives me a sympathetic smile. "It's ok, Jenna. I promise. It's just a tough day because it's the first Christmas without my son. Some days are harder than others."

I can't believe I hadn't thought of this before. Now I feel terribly guilty. This day must be excruciating for her. No parent should ever have to bury their child. She should be watching her son opening presents from Santa today. They should be playing games and watching Christmas movies until they fall asleep on the couch with the fireplace heating the room. I can only empathize and even that feels devastating deep in my bones. I'm not sure I would want to live anymore if I lost my husband and child. I don't have either yet, but I can't imagine the pain she must have felt and must still be feeling. She reaches into her pocket and pulls something out. She kisses it, looks up to me and opens her hand, revealing a small red Matchbox car.

"It was his favorite car. I bought it for him for Christmas when he was five," she says with a strained voice. "Of all the big presents he received that year, this was the one thing he loved the most. He took it everywhere he went. I can't tell you how many nights I would go into his room after he fell sleep to see him holding this car in his precious little hand. After the accident and the investigation, I went to the police station to retrieve all the belongings from my husband's car. As I got ready to leave, a police officer ran after me, yelling my name and trying to get my attention. When I turned around to face him, he told me he was one of the first to arrive on the scene. I'll never forget the pain on his face when he reached out his hand and placed this small red car in mine. He said Asher had it in his hand when they found him. He was already dead, but his little fingers were still wrapped around it. I keep it in my pocket everywhere I go. It's the only thing I have left of him. I like to think a small piece of him is still here with me with this little car."

I am full on sobbing as she tells me the story. I hadn't realized that everyone else in the vehicle had stopped their conversations to listen to the story of the little red car and there isn't a dry eye in this vehicle. Seat belts unbuckle and Helen is embraced in an eight-person hug. We may not be able to bring her son back, but we can give her all the love and support she needs to get through this difficult day.

Everyone returns to their seats when Helen finally speaks. "Thank you all for bringing me into your world. I've been so alone since the accident. This is the first connection and the only time I have felt supported since. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me."

"You will never be alone again, Helen," Patrick says, running his hand over her hair. "We will always be here for you...whatever you need."

She nods and puts the little red car back in her pocket.

We take so many things for granted and I'm guilty of it, too. Meeting Hunter, his brothers and Helen has changed my perspective and made me appreciate what I have...and who I have in my life. Aspen has changed me for the better. I once said that Aspen was good for my soul and I believe that now more than ever. I believe that you find people throughout your life that change everything that you have ever known to be true. I look around this bus and see those people that have changed my life so profoundly in their very own way.