ezekiel: you only like him because you feel bad for him. "he was conditioned to be that way dont blame him!" you give everyone second chances. you're a doormat. also a people pleaser. very judgemental with all characters except ezekiel. you tried to be quirky. probably like many more of the "underrated" (theyre not underrated they have like ten lines) characters.
eva: you will NOT shut up about how she deserves better. we know. definitely lesbian. "shes so pretty!" she'd kill you. probably hate the main characters. you also hate men.
noah: you chose to like noah because you wanted to be quirky and like a background character but when you entered the fandom you realized that literally everyone likes noah. stop giving him character depth he doesnt have. you either relate to him or are in love with him. and both of those require therapy. you're so burnt out get help????
justin: we get it you hate alejandro. you think too much about character depth. you can stop thirsting over him. his chin is a brick hes not that attractive. probably hated him at first. horny.
katie/sadie: they are not underrated. they had like three lines that werent "oh my gosh." twitter stan. like them for the aesthetic probably.
tyler: you probably dont like lindsay very much. 'tyler deserves better!' hes literally just geoff with bruises. empathetic and you like all of the underdogs.
cody: you do NOT pay attention to canon. he's not innocent hes a creep. you're naive as hell. stop giving second chances. they dont like you back leave it alone. lexi if ur reading this you're the only valid cody stan.
beth: "beth had great character development, in this essay i will-" you always blame people for hating beth because shes ugly but ignore how gross she was in action. cancel people constantly. people pleaser. do you even exist?
courtney: you either love duncney with your whole soul or will not stop talking about how courtney could do better. either hate gwen or love gwen. stop arguing with people. "she deserves better" she kicked duncans nuts every ten seconds but okay.
harold: there is only one harold stan i hate. the rest of you are chill idc.
trent: either you're gay and look too much into character depth or you're straight and love gwent. you know hes boring. you hate action. how's that anxiety?
bridgette: you did not pay attention at all to the show and you just think shes pretty and like her. or you just like her because you know you can write her better.
lindsay: you feel so bad for her or only say you like lindsay bc you watched the show for like five minutes. definitely hate chris. total trauma is your favorite fan content ever.
dj: god i really hope you exist???? you're so sweet i want to be your friend if djs ur fav please omg.. anyways ur a pussy
izzy: gay or neurodivergent. or both. probably both.
geoff: i love your vibes so much you're just here for a good time and you definitelyyy want to be his friend and shit me too.
leshawna: you're white
duncan: i'm not writing for duncan bc if someone's favorite is duncan they arent on my page
heather: you're either basic or you're gay. stop with ur sad heather headcanons. you probably think you're mean but you're really not girly you cant order food.
gwen: probably just started the show or dont pay attention to her past island.
owen: you dont exist sry
sierra: you likely hate cody but love her which is weird? you hate how they treated her and want to rewrite her sooo bad. horny (stop).
alejandro: idk u think hes hot?
YOU ARE READING
bullshit.
Randomthought i should make a random book for a while, and now i decided to go through with it. enjoy.
