bullshit.

incorrect quotes

[cody looking into a telescope]
noah: what are you looking for?
cody: planet fitness
noah: im in love with an idiot.

heather: the dinner is too hot, i cant eat it
alejandro: you're too hot, and i still eat you
courtney: ONE dinner. i just want ONE dinner

cody: i can NOT believe we are stuck in this room together!
sierra, swallowing the key: i know, right?

dj: i cant go. stress is bad for the baby.
duncan: what baby?
dj: me.

courtney: i have feelings for you
duncan: what?
courtney: yeah. i feel like youre annoying.

noah: yknow what? i may be antisocial. i may be unattractive.
owen: ...but?
noah: that's it.

heather: you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up.
alejandro: you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.

duncan: what that mouth do?
courtney: complain.

cody: so, i started seeing someone.
gwen: as in dating or hallucinations?

noah: im always two steps ahead of you bitches.
noah: would be three but i have asthma.

cody: how the fuck is stuart little 2'3 and everyone things hes so cute and smart, but im 4'8 and suddenly too pathetic to get invited into parties? what the fuck?

geoff: 'bro' but like romantically.

duncan: im just going to start killing people i dont find funny.
noah: 1-800-273-8255, the national suicide prevention line.
duncan: shut the fuck up.

cody: i mean, i just dont think it's possible that everyone was kung fu fighting. everyone would have to be awake, and does everyone even know how to-
noah: i love you.

geoff, holding his new born baby: oh my god, hes gorgeous!
noah, the doctor: ...sure. im going to have to give him some shots.
geoff: oh hell yeah! pour it up, it's his birthday!

duncan: i miss you courtney
duncan: can i come and see you?
courtney: when-
duncan: right now?
courtney: -did i ask
duncan: no wonder why i fucked gwen instead

cody: im sorry if im bothering you
noah, once again the doctor: how do you keep waking up and saying that

chef: one time when noah was working as chris's assistant, he disagreed to buying him a coffee and then security took him outside and there was a gunshot and chris told me it was unrelated.

izzy: interesting when you squeeze most fruits you get a juice, but when you squeeze bananas you just get a mush.
eva: izzy, stop ruining the bananas on the display.

these are all from tweets i found while scrolling through instagram, so they've probably been used before.