bullshit.

writing advice because im obviously qualified to give it

two posts in a row omg im on a roll

i won the uh NOBEL prize for writing or whatever its called so im obligated to tell you all this. is it nobel? idrk i thought nobel was the peace prize???? grammy is music ik that uh what's the prize for good writing????

okay whatever i'm the best writer ever in the history of ever so i'm giving you guys 10 tips! bc i feel nice.

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TIP ONE : WRITE DIALOUGE BEFORE ACTIONS

okay so this doesn't make that much sense at first? but if you're facing writers block and dont know what to say, or you're feeling lazy but still want to work but dont want to put effort in, just focus on writing the dialouge and not the 'she said while yadda yadda yadda.' leave that part out until you feel like writing it! its soo much easier then i promise.

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TIP TWO : PARAGRAPH BREAKING

thankfully i've seen less and less of this when reading BUT the biggest 'wtf...' for me when i open a book is when the paragraphs are giant and theres no breaks at all. make sure to split them up pleasee i cant tell you how many books i stopped reading cause they didn't do that!

if you dont know when to break them, you usually start a new paragraph when a new character speaks, an event happens, it feels right (go w ur gut!) or the topic changes.

also on this topic, very your paragraph length. this isnt really a pet peeve but it is nicer when it's like long paragraph small paragraph medium paragraph etc etc.

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TIP THREE : SPRINKLE IN SOME OF THAT FANCY SHIT BUT IN MODERATION

man my favoriteee things about fics sometimes is analogies, metaphors, similes, personification, cool vocabulary, etc. it just brings so much more life to ur book and for the live of god PLEASE use them when describing shit and whatnot.

what sounds better? "her eyes were blue" OR "her eyes were like the OCEAN, calm and alluring, though MYSTERIOUS as he could feel something lying DEEP beneath the SURFACE"

SEE? mf metaphors do so much for ur writing.

BUT, A WORD OF WARNING

bitch this isnt poetry?

i dont wanna read ur book if you go on and on and on about how noah felt like an autumn leaf without the crunch when u step on it, okay? if i have to put THOUGHT into reading a total drama fic i am going to lose my mind.

it can work in oneshots when you're trying to go for a more poetic feel and focus more on depth and visions rather than plot, but for a storyline, please dont do it too much.

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TIP FOUR : BE CAREFUL WITH DETAILING

okay. i LOVE LOVE LOVE writing details as much as the next guy. i can go on and on and ON about describing scenery or some dudes face shape or the thoughts inside someone's head, and it's okay if you do it a few times across a chapter!

but not all the goddamn time?

look dude this is WATTPAD. if people want to read your noco fic but you keep going on about what noah's hair looks like, people will get bored and leave to go to another fic. harsh but true!

it's important to give your readers an idea on what everything looks like, and to make the scenery more vivid, but please dont spend too much time on it.

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TIP FIVE : THIS IS FANFICTION, KEEP IT SPICY

okay look when i'm reading stephen king i dont care how long it takes to get to the good shit because it's not like eight hundred other motherfuckers wrote a story on 100 kids walking until they die. i can sit through the buildup.