The Black Dahlia (Cartel Series #1) ✔️

19. Guilt

Gabriella

The man at the door was none other than Alejandro. He was really surprised to see me in his study, scrimmaging through his books.

”What the hell are you doing here?” he asked coldly.

I accidentally dropped a copy of Albert Camus’  “The stranger”. I looked like a deer caught in headlights and my game was almost up, I needed to come up with something.
Nervously I said “Sir I am sorry, your house is so big I was looking for a library to get a book to read as I rested, I was feeling really anxious and needed something to take my mind of the current situation. I thought this was a library of your mansion, I should have asked the servants but no one was here.” I stared nervously to the ground after saying this.

Alejandro’s demeanor changed suddenly, from rage he went to a little softer expression. “Ohh I am so sorry, I was really stressed about Sandra and I forgot to ask you how you were. Ask the maid about the library and she will take you there. Also don’t worry about Sandra. Every family member has a gps tracker attached to their body; if they ever get kidnapped they can be easily tracked. We have found Sandra’s tracker pointing to a forested area on the outskirts of Guadalajara, me and my men will get there soon”.

“Ohh thank God. I hope you find her safe, I want her back! Promise me you will get her back.” I said getting really emotional, on the verge of tear. I genuinely meant it this time, I really loved her!

After Alejandro was gone I called my men and told them to desert the vehicle and escape to safety as soon as possible.

I returned to my room with a book, but guilt was eating me on the insides.
I thought this would be easy, I never thought I would get so attached to her.
She feels like a sister to me, because she is so pure and innocent. She loves me and accepted me with all her heart.  I made a mental note that whatever happens I will keep her out of my revenge.

I could not control my tears anymore, the guilt made it really hard for me. I lay in fetal position crying for a few hours until I heard commotion downstairs.
I composed myself and quickly moved downstairs to see what was going on.

I saw Alejandro carrying an unconscious Sandra in his arms. He looked really worried and scared. First time I ever saw fear in his eyes. I rushed outside and followed him to Sandra’s room. After splashing water on her face she did wake up, on seeing us she started bawling like crazy. Alejandro hugged her tight and tried to console her before she could say anything; her body went into a seizure caused by panic attack.

I quickly started providing her the immediate first aid for seizures, from my experience as a doctor. She calmed down and her seizures stopped and she hugged me tight. Alejandro was shocked, yet he stayed silent as the more concerning matter at hand was Sandra’s well being.
“I will stay with her don’t worry about her.” I told Alejandro.

I massaged her head, humming a soothing tune to help her sleep.
After some time Ricardo walked in, he wanted to check up on Sandra. I told him she was fast asleep and it took her a while to get some sleep, she was sobbing inconsolably. 

I proceeded to ask him about her seizure and severe panic attack, does it have any previous history or this was first time due to the shock of the kidnapping, which is highly unlikely. Seizures of this severity don’t happen out of the blue without previous incidents which can be triggered by the recent events.

“Yes she had a traumatic experience in the past. Around 5 years back, our enemies had kidnapped and they had kept her captive for many days. Days filled with immense amounts of torture and rape.”
His eyes filled with rage as he remembered the ordeal. “I wish I could gouge their
Eyes of the people who did this to such an innocent soul”.

I comforted him and assured him I would stay with Sandra and take care of her needs.

I controlled myself in front of Ricardo, but after he was gone my tears just flowed. The description given by Ricardo made my skin crawl and I had just made matters worse for an already troubled soul. Because of my stupid plan, she had to relive her trauma again.
How can I forgive myself after what I had done to her?

My desire for revenge had blinded me so much that I did not care about the consequences or who I was hurting.
Someone knocked on the door, “please come in”, I said. It was Rosa.
She asked “How is she now?”
“She has been sleeping for about an hour now, she is in a stable condition now”, I said.

Rosa sat beside her and stroked her hair and tears rolled down her eyes, she held my hand and said “ Thank you so much for taking care of her, you are a nice person”.

“She is like my sister,  I have been alone all my life, she really made me feel welcome and loved. In her  I see a sister, a sister I never had. She wanted to cheer me up and that’s why we went to the mall to spend some quality time alone, she insisted on not taking bodyguards to give us some privacy. I am partly to blame for her current state. I feel really bad.”  i said

Rosa shushed me and said “don’t blame yourself sweetheart, it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have done anything in the situation you were in."

I felt even closer to Rosa now than ever. I started doubting how these people could be responsible for destroying my world? I was getting conflicted feelings and felt unsure about my mission the more I got to know them. But the voice of reason returned and said 'They seem nice because you are on their side, but they are ruthless drug lords they can be monsters when needed to'. This time I was finding it hard to listen to the voice of reason in my head.

Later that night I had no appetite. I drank some wine and went to bed. I found it really difficult getting some sleep. It took me a long time before I could fall asleep.

As soon as I fell asleep, my nightmare began. In the dream I was walking with Sandra to the mall. I could see bright lights flashing, it was a lovely evening. The stored were illuminated, Gucci, Prada, Louis vutton etc, Sandra looked really cheerful and pulled me by the hands enthusiastically towards the plethora of options, but before she could enter the store gates. Darkness slowly engulfed our surrounding before completely covering us. Sandra was consumed by the darkness and her grip slowly slipped from my hand before she was completely swallowed by the darkness.
I was all alone in the dark. I screamed her name many a times, to no avail. I was all alone again; my mother and brother were replaced by Sandra.

I woke up with a jolt, sweating profusely and panting. I couldn’t sleep after.

The next morning ,
I was groggy and tired due to lack of sleep the previous night. I went down for breakfast in my pajamas as it was my day off. Sandra sat down beside me and I asked her “how are you?”
she smiled and answered “I am okay”.

I was still ashamed of my actions; I tried my best to hide my emotions.  I was about to head to my room, when Rosa cornered me and said “Sweetheart you don’t look well, what’s the matter?”

I told her the truth, she hugged me  and consoled me, that it’s alright and if I ever feel alone or need a motherly figure she was always there for me.
I burst into tears on her shoulders. After consoling me for some time she continued with her daily routine. On my way, I met Alejandro dressed for work. I wished him good morning and he returned the favor.

Before going he said “Gabriella I was curious, how did you know about seizure first aid, I am very thankful your timely service saved my sister, just asking out of curiosity”.

“I volunteer with orphanage kids every weekend, so I deal with kids suffering from seizures on a regular basis. The doctors and sisters there trained me to handle the same. I am glad it came handy, to save dear Sandy. I am really sorry she went through all that because of me” i replied

“No don’t blame yourself, it was not in your control. I suggest detaching yourself from the situation, it will help you heal better, take care.” He said before going out to his car.