When she holds you close, I might just die inside.

Chapter 3: Pretending it doesnt hurt.

"Yes, but after this whole mess straightens up... I don't want to do anything with Harry. I make him forget Taylor then I disappear. Get it?" I didn't want to have my heart broken again by Harry. He had broken my heart more than 5 times and I wasn't going to allow it anymore. Simple as pie.

"Harry... Harry isn't the only one that needs you here... I want you here. I mean so do all the boys. We miss your cooking, your laugh, your optimism, your voice filling the room with joy..." He said. I could listen to his beautiful Irish voice cracking.

"That's sweet, Nialler. But I almost broke to pieces when I found out about Harry proposing... And I know that if I even see him with another girl couldn't handle it... I just prefer it that way..." I say. I feel a huge lump in my throat. I was holding back my tears... I hear Niall taking a deep sigh from the end of the line as he says: "I... I get it. So it's a deal, right?"

"Yes, Nialler. It is a deal."

"I'm gonna go pick my phone back, kay? Be there in 5."

"I'll be here." I say as I hang up. I try to hold back my tears, but it's impossible. I start sweeping again while tears stream down my face. I dry them, can't let Niall see me crying. I take a look at the stage. I see the microphone there, tempting me to grab it and sing my feelings out. That's what I do when I feel low. Sing. So I do it. I go to the stage and grab the microphone.

"Shut the door

Turn the light off

I wanna be with you

I wanna feel your love

I wanna lay beside you

I cannot hide this

Even though I try

Heart beats harder

Time escapes me

Trembling hands touch skin

It makes this hard, girl.

And the tears stream

Down my face.

If we could only have this life

For one more day

If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be your life

Your voice, your reason to be.

my love, my heart is breathing for this

Moments in time

I'll find the words to say before you leave me today..." I sing clearly into the microphone. My voice sounds loud and impressive.

"YOU SING?!" I hear four familiar voices from the arena.

"Were you listening?" I say. I loved singing but I didnt like it doing in front of people. The only person (outside my family of course) that had heard me singing was... Harry. Ugh why does everything I do reminds me of him and how he used to sing for me when I begged him. Then he would beg me that I would sing that same song.

"Yes! You have a beautiful voice." Says Liam.

"One of my favorites carrots has an amazing voice, Kevin." Louis says whispering to the pigeon.

"Beautiful, funny, a great chef and talented too?! Marry me!" Says Zayn.

"I would love too. But Perrie wouldn't agree." I answer. He nods in agreement.

"So did Niall tell you about the plan?" I ask them.

"The crazy plan that might save the band... Yes,yes he did. Its pretty good if you think about it. And quite devious too." says Zayn.

"Our Niall is growing up, Kevin." says Louis with a sad face. Niall laughs.

"I'm nineteen. Harry is the youngest one!" he complains.

"Well now you're complaining like your 3!" I say.

"Do NOT insult my little baby." Louis grabs Niall's cheeks and starts squeezing them. We all laugh.

I start taking of my hoodie when I remember my wrists. And put it back on immediately.

"So how are we going to do... You know for you and Harry meet on a casual spot." asks Liam.

"Well they should meet at Nando's." recommends Niall.

"Great idea! Thats a perfect common, unsuspicious place to meet." I say.

Niall gives me a smile. He knows I love eating as much as him. Maybe even a little more.

"So tomorrow, be there at Nando's. Around three. I'll text you when we get there." says Zayn.

"You know just because I broke up with Harry, doesn't mean I stopped being your friend."

"Oh, we know it's just that if Harry catches us texting you, he'll kill us." Niall blurts out.

"Why?!" I ask. Harry shouldn't do that. It's so unfair!

Niall shrugs and so do the other boys.

"Anyway... We should get going to the party. Wanna come?" asks Niall.

"I'll go but I have to wait for Lilly."

"Oh she's going?" Zayn blushes. Lilly and Zayn well... They have a story. They started dating until the boys went on their first tour. They lost contact after that, but you could still see the sparkle in Zayn's eyes whenever I mentioned her. And you could see Lilly blushing whenever I mentioned Zayn.

"Yes, Malik. She's going with Matt. You know her boyfriend." I say.

"She has a boyfriend??" he asks. I see the pain in his eyes and the teensy bit of jealousy.

"Yes she does. " I hated doing that to him. But he has a girlfriend. And if he moved on why can't she?!

"JADE!!! COME HERE!!" Lilly screams from the bathroom.

"Well, duty calling. I'll see you at the party." I say.