for the best...?

part fourteen

really long chapter for you all <3 it's going to get better after this chapter...maybe.
Y/N POV
it was 4 weeks since ariana basically left me. i was on lean and popping pills whenever i could. i felt so numb the week after everything happened so i went back to what i do best. the pops had a bunch of pictures of me drinking,smoking, doing drugs, and consistently taking girls home to try and feel something. on my third week of consistent drugs my mom and dad came over, i snorted some random shit from a random guy. i overdosed and they got me to the hospital on time, the doctors told us that if i was a minute late i would've died. so here i am. a week and a half sober. i feel like such a failure, i'm sitting in a hospital bed. i've done nothing but throw up and shake uncontrollably "it's okay baby" my mom whispered to me as i shivered "i-i am so cold" i gulp and she sheds acouple tears "i know please stay strong" my dad butted in before they left me lonely. they had business to complete, they couldn't stay with me and i understand that i guess.
ARIANA POV
justin just called to let me know that y/n was in the hospital for an overdose. she was sober for so long, i caused her pain. "what hospital" i asked "i don't even know, there's no way anyone can contact her only her parents" he told me and i started to cry "listen ariana i really don't like what you did to my sister but i believe that you guys could maybe work this out" he said and i sighed "i just want her to be okay" i replied and we talked for a bit before hanging up.
Y/N POV
(3 weeks later)
here i am completely sober. but i just got the worst diagnosis of my life. i have lyme disease. i know what it is because of justin but still it's not going to be easy for me. my mood changes are really out and i just don't feel like myself, i have been writing my feelings down in lyrics so i am expecting my music to be poppin. "okay so you'll have to do 90 days of detoxing and then we will try and put you on something for your moods" the doctor told me and i nodded "thank you for everything seriously" i told him and stood up "can i hug you" i asked him with a slight crack in my voice "of course" he said and we shared a real great hug. i felt connected to him because he was the only person i seen everyday. he made me feel alittle bit worthy. "okay kid go rock the world, i don't wanna see you here like that again" he told me sternly and i nodded "you have my word" i said and he took my discharge papers. "let's go" my mom said as she peeked her head in my room, i just nodded and gathered my things. i got my phone and immediately texted my producer and manager to come to my house since i have a studio so i can make music. it's great for relieving stress.
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i've just finished my album and i feel so relieved. it's gone #1 on every platform. i've been home this past month finishing my album. it went from being inlove music to absolute heartbreak. my moods have been tragically changing and it's not great. i haven't hit anyone but when i blackout i say terrible things. "y/n are you down to preform at SNL" my manager asked and i nodded, i'm grumpy right now. "okay well you have four hours until we go" he told me and left which was the right decision. all i keep thinking about is ariana and how much she hurt me "y/n can you please shower and get ready we have to leave soon" my mom asked and i got up. i must've been sitting there thinking for acouple hours. i took a shower and patched up my bruised up arm from the detoxing. my tattoos are heeling up and i can't wait to get more. anyways, i changed and we made our way to SNL which was 40 minutes away. i felt tired halfway through but i stayed up, i know if i feel tired now i'm going to be drained because i have to get detoxing right after this show. my body was so bad that i have to wake up at 5am to 7am of detoxing then 6pm to 8pm. i'm going to be alittle late that's why i have to get a the machine stuck in me right after "let's get you ready" a makeup artist told me.
JUSTIN POV
the group and i seen that y/n was preforming some songs from her new album live at SNL so we all got last minute tickets. ariana is also here and can't sit still in her seat. after listening to the album everyone has been on their toes. especially ariana.
Y/N POV
i sat down and looked at myself in the mirror as they started