𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕.

𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦..

I watched the blood seep through my skin, the 8 deep and long cuts near my wrist. I cleaned one of the cuts with a cotton ball and it just continued to bleed making me sigh.

I grabbed the roll of gauze and wrapped it around my forearms securing the end of it. I had just gotten out of the shower and did my hair. But I couldn't take my eyes off of the book that held my razor blades.

I looked at the scars from 2 days ago, and now I'm here sitting on my bed bandages on my arm. It was now Saturday and I didn't even want to go anymore.

On Friday all I did was lay down and watch anime, fell asleep, and watched more. All I do is feel ashamed of myself. And fucking stupid for doing it in the first place.

I knew if I didn't show up at Aries' house though, then he would get worried something happened to me so I forced myself out of bed to look for something to wear.

Getting dressed I put on a black long sleeve with my blue flannel. Black jeans and my blue dunks. I normally wear makeup because I hate the way I look without it, except for work.

So I sat down in front of my mirror and applied my concealer under my eyes and blush on my cheeks. I added my lip liner to my lips, and added some lip gloss, after I finished applying my eyelashes I fixed my eyebrows.

Picking up my phone I saw that it was 7:58. I picked up my spend-a-night bag I packed before I got in the shower. I asked my mom Friday morning if I could sleepover at Aries' house.

She only said yes because she likes his parents and the type of person he is. Which is something I'm thankful for because if I was in this house for the rest of the weekend there would probably be more cuts on my arm.

I grabbed my car keys and locked my room door, jogging down the stairs I left out of the house, tossing my things into the backseat I got into the passenger seat and began my drive to Aries' house.

Aries' parents are rich. Well each of them separately, his mom is a lawyer and his father invests in real estate, on building houses and apartments. They travel a lot but when they do come home their pretty hard on him.

They have a cute love story though, they met in college and progressed from there. He asked her to marry him while they were on vacation in Cancun, and in no time Aries was here. He's told me the story many times and so have they.

I think he tells me it because it helps him imagine what life would be like if they to stayed more, got to know their son, and raised him. When most of his life he's been raising himself.

But if you ask me, he's doing a very good job on himself. Or how he lets others see how he has it together. I'll never have enough courage to ask him which one it is.

I sometimes wondered what my life would be like if I was Aries, living in a somewhat stable household. The only bad thing happening that would be happening is people being jealous of me.

But then I remember all the things Aries has to go through alone like me and I just feel guilty for even thinking like that.

Soon enough, I arrived at his house. Grabbing my stuff, I walked to the door and heard laughing coming from the inside making me freeze. I thought I was going to be the only one here this early.

My mind instantly went to Savannah, knowing I couldn't stand only the three of us being around alone and her fake laughter with me there.

Raising my hand I knocked on the door three times.

I was greeted by Aries with a big smile on his face. I waved with a slight smile on my face.

I'm not big on smiling or laughing for that matter. I don't like to express my emotions and when I do it's either fake. I don't remember the last time I genuinely smiled.