𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕.

𝘴𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯..

It'd been five days since I went to Aries's house. Five days since I read the note from Xaria. Five days since the image of Xaria first entered my mind again. And in those five days I haven't progressed.

Today is December 15th, ten days before Christmas and I'm still numb. I still feel empty. My days continue to blend together to the point where I don't feel alive again. I feel as if I'm floating.

At times I don't even notice myself doing things, brushing my teeth, leaving the house with Emani, I just blink and I'm in the car or downstairs, back in my bed. I don't even notice the day passing by until it's over.

Aries texts me and I text back, he's the only friend I have–including Kavion. We're just as close as Aries and I, I can trust him. But Narri and I drifted away after that night. I went silent and she didn't attempt to pry. She watched me dissolve into the nothingness I currently am.

And even before that I wasn't talking to my friend group, it's my fault so I'm not sad about it.

I like being alone.

Is what I've been trying to convince myself.

Though–I knew it wasn't true. I didn't want to burden Aries anymore than I already had. I needed someone who didn't know anything about the emptiness that was now the whole in my chest.

"Hello?"

I hadn't heard that warm and cheerful voice in months. I was surprised she even picked up the phone.

I didn't even remember hitting the call button.

"Hellllooo? Acura?" She called out, causing me to blink a couple of times, bringing me back to Earth.

"Uh h-hey Xaria," I brought the phone to my ear, I hardly talked anymore, and speaking hurt my throat.

"Acura, I could barely recognize your voice. Is everything okay?"

I cleared my throat before speaking again to attempt to bring more life to my voice, "Y-yea yea, everything's f-fine. I just–I-I-I don't know," I released a deep breath. It shouldn't be this hard to have a conversation. "I'm sorry for n-not reaching out, I-I've been busy and–"

"Don't apologize, I get it." I could hear her smile in her voice and it brought warmth to my cheeks.

"T-thanks, b-but I gues–" I cleared my throat again. "I wa-wanted to take you up o-on your offer about us," I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"Which part of the offer?"

"U-us and being f-friends, if you still want t-to. We co-could I don't k-know...hang out Friday. I-if you're free, I don't mean to o-overstep, it's o-ok if you don't want to." I rushed out the last part quickly waiting for her response.

She stifled a giggle in the phone before speaking up, "I'd love to hang out with you Friday. What do you want to do?"

My eyes widened a bit, I hadn't thought this far. I didn't even think I was gonna hit the call button.

Oh, god.

"We c-could go see a movie, or u-uh to this bookstore, there's a c-cafe nearby,"

"How about all three of those? Is 2:30 good for you?" My eyes lit up, and for the first time in a long time, I had something to look forward to.

"Y-yea, I'll text you," We said our goodbye's then got off of the phone.

I turned my phone off and sat it face down on my bed.

There is no way that really happened, I want to smile. I'm happy, nothing can ruin this moment right now. Even if Friday doesn't go as good as I think it will, I called her. I talked to her.