Acura Saint has always felt like she was damaged, through all the things she's been through and all the trauma she tries to keep locked away. Falling in love is the last thing she wants to think about.
She can't love another when she can't stand to...
Time passes even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second-hand aches like the fresh scars that no longer stung in the shower. It passes unevenly, but it does. Even for me.
December 10th.
"Acura what the hell is going on?" Blinking a couple of times, I took in my surroundings.
I was in my sister–Emani's car. That's right. It was winter break, she was home for Christmas. We were on our way somewhere, I hadn't been aware of what was happening around me.
"W-what do you mean?" I mumbled, confused.
"What is going on with you?" She clarified. "I've been here for over a week and somethings off,"
"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I tried to come off convincing but even I could hear in my dull voice, how the words came off flat.
"You aren't fine, is it something with mama or our father? A boy, a girl? School? Friends?" She kept on.
Shaking my head, I raised my hand moving the braid out of my face.
"Then what the hell is it? I don't want to talk to mama about it, but you need some help. Ever since I've been back you're. . . lifeless, Acura."
The accusation struck me. Sighing I tried to put some animation in my response.
"I'm sorry, Emani." Yet it didn't even sound sincere. I thought this whole time I'd been fooling her, my mom too. She probably put her up to this.
"I don't want you to apologize."
I sighed. "Then what do you want me to do?"
"Acura," She hesitated now. "Go out and live, it's your senior year of high school. Stop spending it locked in your depressing room. Hang out with friends, go to parties."
But that didn't sound like me, at all.
"If not, I'll tell mom about this. Your depressed and helple–"
"Ok." I sighed. "I'll go hang out with Aries tonight."
"Good, in the meantime," She opened her door and I realized we were parked in a parking lot.
I climbed out behind her, stuffing my phone in my back pocket.
"We're going shopping."
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The sound of the phone ringing stopped indicating someone had picked up, "Aries?" I waiting for a response.
"Is this Acura Saint calling me?" He spoke incredulously.
"O-of course," I forced some innocence into my voice.
"Did you need something?" His tone was a bit sour and a wave of guilt washed over me.
"I can't call my best friend now?" My words sounded stiff.
"I mean, you haven't returned my calls or texts in two months, I didn't even know we were still best friends." He spoke, still sounding unfriendly. It was expected.