How to annoy the transformers

15 random TF facts

Just another little something that I wanted to publish, but it wasn't enough to be a one-shot all by itself, so it hid itself in the shadow of "100 ways to annoy Skywarp/Thundercracker".

Disclaimers are the same as the aforementioned larger one-shot.

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1). Starscream is actually an extremely hormonal femme. That's why he she bitches all the time.

2). Soundwave watches people sleep from the monitor room.

3). Megatron has a bunch of his soldiers walk around in heels because he used to want to start his own fashion line, but he got rejected on account of him squishing one of his potential sponsors. Forcing them to hobble around in nine-inch heels compensates for his lost dream.

4). Shockwave's desk is coated in three inches of dust.

5). Knockout is gay, but everybody knows that, so I effectively wasted number five.

6). Breakdown is also gay, and happens to be Knockout's boyfriend. That would explain how a former Wrecker became a Medic's assistant. The meaning of all life has just been answered!

7). Shockwave is very lonely. He has even resorted to hopping on Skype to find someone to talk to, but even the Webcam hookers hang up on him.

8). The reason Bumblebee is so adorable is because he is actually the most evil being in the universe, but his creators made him super cute so that you're glued to the spot as he tears your innards out. Even then, the only thing you'd be able to say is; "Please pull out my eyes last."

9). Soundwave, Shockwave, and the Vehicons secretly envy Optimus Prime's face.

10). By extension, Optimus is terrified by the former three's lack of face.

11). Raf has had several animals shit, have babies, and die in his hair, and no amount of combing will ever make it look normal.

12). TFP Soundwave's fingers must keep slipping off the keys on his keyboard because of those talons.

13). Ratchet is allergic to, not only humans, but stupid. He carries Cybertronian epi-pins around with him where ever he goes.

14). Miko has several coffees every morning. She is utterly and completely addicted.

15). The only reason Shockwave (briefly, alright?) and Elita One aren't in the show is because nobody likes him and she's busy beating the hell out of every Mary Sue version of herself to exist, respectively.