How to annoy the transformers

60 ways to annoy Lugnut

Alright, here it is! This very well could be the last on the "Ways to annoy" series, but I'm not entirely sure. If I'm not finished with this series, then I'll start taking requests, but as I said, I haven't decided yet. And besides, what better bot to go out on than Lugnut?
Language/risque. As strange as it seems, I think I'm gonna miss that part!
Well, enjoy!
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1) Remark that he is not his master's favorite. In fact, it's still Shockwave. Sorry. You're just a puppet to Lord Megatron's plans.

2) Tell Lugnut that Megatron is a moron and he should root for the Autobots.

3) Comment on all of Lugnut's FALCON PUNCHING! Then say he didn't do it right.

4) Start singing 'Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer everytime you see him.

5) Question Lugnut's vocabulary skills. Because all you hear is 'glorious' and 'Megatron'. If he doesn't seem to mind, begin to wnder about his intelligence. If he still doesn't mind, remark that "Only stupid people follow Megatron."

6) Tell Lugnut that you support LugnutxShockwave/Lockdown/Starscream.

7) Say to Lugnut that Megatron lost against the Autobots in the last two 'Endgame' episodes because he is a foolish Decepticon that ruined his 'glorious leader's' plans with how badly he controlled the Omega Supreme clones.

8) Inform Lugnut that he's a big lug that is definitely nutty. See if he gets it on his own.

9) Remark how in 'Transwarped', the Decepticon Strika was mentioned as his consort; or literally speaking, his spouse. Ask him to define this.

10) Tell Lugnut he's the dumbest Decepticon of all and the orders he carries out are dumb too. It'll take him a second to realize you're saying Megatron's ideas are dumb. So run like the pit while you have a head start.

11) Tell Lugnut that his glorious master couldn't beat up a car. Not an Autobot car, mind you. Just a regular old car.

12) Tell Lugnut that his glorious master's plans never work since he's around and his stupidity ruins his plans. He should run off crying again. After he tries to kill you.

13) Tell Lugnut that in TFP Megatron made Dreadwing made him second in command and not him. Tell him then again, Lugnut isn't even in TFP.

14) Tell him something that's sure to drive him crazy, something along the lines of, You attempted to kill Megatron in your sleep, but if you tell him he will die in seven days. If you don't tell him, he will die in seven and a half days.

15) Pester him until he tries to use his punch on you. Then cheekily girn at him and tell hm his master would be mad if he punched a whole in his ship.

16) Tell him in more "scientific words" he has a low hq. See how long it takes him to get it.

17) Implant a sound device in his audios that goes off at random times. When he starts to question the music, tell him he's going insane again.

18) Tell him you had orders from Megatron to annoy him. See how long he can take it.

19) Tell him that Megatron's favorite minion wears a chicken suit and that said minion should do the exact dance moves of the glorious leader's favorite song, the "Chicken Techno". The mighty lord longs for that performance, even when he denies it by throwing life-threatning objects at his minion's face. 

20) Ask him why he follows Megatron as his loyal "sidekick" when Megatron hates him.

21) Tell him that Megatron fathered Bulkhead with Strika. Then...RUN!!

22) Point out how his 'glorious' leader never beats the Autobots. [

23) Show him all the yaoi stories of Megatron and Optimus/Starscream/Soundwave/Shockwave. And point out there a no Megatron and Lugnut stories. Tell him you'll know if he tries to write one to compensate for the lack of stories about he and Megatron.

24) Ask him if he's anything like the cyclops of legend. Then ask if he knows who Nobody is. When he asks you who you're talking about, act as if you have no idea.

25) Point out how Starscream is in every version of Transformers while he is not. Sorry, Lugnut, you're just that expendable.

26) Tell him Megatron loves classical piano and wants Lugnut to play him something. Then snicker as he tries to play with those big pincers he has instead of fingers.

27) Ask Shockwave and then Soundwave to play the piano and clap when they play perfectly.

28) Ask Lugnut if he still wants to be Megatron's "pleasure slave". If he says yes, tell him that he's to fat and Megatron would never love him. If the answer's no tell him he's still fat and run like hell.

29) Remember in the Transformer Animated Episode: Three's A Crowd? The Liar Starscream helped to free Lugnut from the stasis handcuffs. Tell him that the Liar Starscream told Megatron and the Decepticons about his defeat by the Autobots and Megatron offered to trade him for Bumblebee. Not a useful mech like Prowl. Bumblebee.

30) When Lugnut is in alt mode as bomber plane, annoyingly remind him not to 'drop the bomb' on this mission. Repeat, then start running when he transforms.

31) If you haven't died from the last one, remind him how he had his 'punch' activated when Wreck-gar made him blow up. Then tell him that it wasn't his fault, it was his stupidity. Begin running immediately.

32) Ask him why his servo looks like a nuke when he gets 'the punch' out. Bonus points if he blows up trying to figure why that is.

33) Tell him that Blitzwing is stronger than him because Hothead Blitzwing flipped him and knocked him out with part of his own arm!

34) At the Daily Decepticon Board meeting, replace all of Lugnuts documents with Weight Watchers recipes.

35) Challenge Lugnut to a bet where he must go a full week without showing any form of praise or respect to his glorious leader, Megatron.

36) Win said bet above. Rub it in his face.

37) As a consequence of Lugnut losing the bet, force him to sponsor the romance novels you've written starring Megatron and Starscream. Tell him you want a movie deal too. And a fashion line.... and a perfume/cologne line.

38) While he's powered down in bomber plane mode, paint a sexy pin-up of Megatron on both sides next to his cockpit canopy.

39) Hire Lugnut to build you an in-ground swimming pool.

40) Once you have your swimming pool, pay him a measly 2 cents for the job, then run like there's no tomorrow. Becuase their won't be if he catches you.

41) Tell Lugnut that Shockwave is the better Giant One-Eyed Purple People Eater.

42) Have Lugnut swap paint jobs with Strika.

43) Shrink Lugnut and Bulkhead to the size of a Scout-class Transformers action figure, place tiny wrestling shorts on them, and stick them in a miniature wrestling ring. As they fight, help Bulkhead maintain the upper hand. Rock 'em Sock 'em Autobots!

44) Ask Lugnut if he knows the same breast implant surgeon as G1 Shockwave and TFP Breakdown.

45) Show Lugnut videos of WW2 bombers getting shot out of the sky. Just as he starts biting his claws, have Starscream or Blitzwing sneak up behind him and shout "BOOM!!!"

46) Ask Lugnut if he is by any chance attracted to Starscream's clone/sister/daughter, Slipstream, since they share a similar paint scheme. If he says no, tell him that she's out of his league anyway. If he says yes, have Slipstream ruthlessly obliterate his desires TO HIS FACE!

47) After that fiasco, give Strika a call and tell her that Lugnut has been cheating on her with another femcon. Give her Lugnut's coordinates and inform her that if she gets there in time, she can get them both with one shot, if you know what I mean!

48) Paint Lugnut up in Starscream's colors, then paint Starscream up in Lugnut's. Then "inform" Megatron that Starscream has inserted his mind into Lugnut's body in order to terminate him.

49) Buy a remote-controlled model bomber plane and rig it to drop rotten eggs on Lugnut as it flies past him.

50) If by some matter of luck you are still alive after all that, rig the same model airplane to drop banana cream pies, cowpies, and/or combustible lemons on Lugnut. Be sure to do this from a safe hiding spot.

51) Introduce Lugnut to Shatterred Glass Megatron. Record his mental breakdown on camera.

52) Get Lugnut and Shockwave to have a one optic staring contest. See how long it takes Lugnut to realize Shockwave can't blink and it's just not going to work. 1000 points if Lugnut carries on anyway for the glory of Megatron! 100000 points if it goes on for more than an hour.

53) Tell him that anyone who follows Megatron is gay (not that he doesn't know that anyway).

54) Set up a boxing ring in the main room, trick Lugnut into going into it and lock him in. Bring Bulkhead in and yell SUMO WRESTLE!!!

55) Point out that he can't kiss Megatron due to his beak-mouth, and that he should stop flirting and do something with his life other than sucking up. He'd crush Megatron if they kissed anyway.

56) While Lugnut is sleeping, paint over his con symbol with an autobot sigil, then paint "Megatron is a loser and Starscream is a better leader" on his back, while painting "Kiss me, Autobot" on his aft. Be sure to take pictures and rub in how his precious leader saw it all.

57) Tell him that Megatron thinks Starscream is more loyal.

58) Tell him Megatron thinks Blitzwing is more sane than he is (TFA).

59) Tell him that Megatron is doubting his loyalty and tell him that he should prove him wrong by kissing aft EVERY, CHANCE, HE GETS.