How to annoy the transformers

47 ways to annoy Steve

Alright, I'm sure most of you will love this one! After all, who doesn't adore Steve? For those of you who don't know who Steve is, he's a sentient Eradicon/Vehicon with a massive obsession with a certain Decepticon officer. That officer is most often Starscream (bleh) but it could really be whoever you'd like.

Language/risque. At this point I've given up with even considering leaving that part out. Enjoy!

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1) Mention his various pairings and relationships that have been made.

2) Sing to him the 'I Kissed A Boy' remix by Cobra Starship or 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry.

3) Ask him how it feels to be smacked around by Starscream.

4) Ask him how it feels to have DEM HEELS up his aft for being a slow worker.

5) Ask him how it feels to be an "Original individual" compared to all the other Vehicons/Eradicons.

6) Make puppy-dog eyes and ask him when he's going to try confessing his love to Starscream… With a big kiss!

7) Get the other Eradicons/Vehicons in on forcing Starscream on an awkward date with Steve. Note: make sure there's plenty of high-grade. And you may have to convince Starscream it's a plot to destroy Megatron.

8) Ask Steve if he was looking at Starscream's aft when he should be working... When Starscream's only a few feet away.

9) Play all the scenes that involve Starscream beating up an Eradicon/Vehicon and remark to Steve that he's in an abusive relationship and should seek help.

10) Bring up Bob/Greg; his bolder, foe counterpart that also wants Starscream and his fabulous heels to himself.

11) Deliberately confuse him with the other Eradicons/Vehicons.

12) Set him up on a blind date with "someone special." Steve, thinking it must be Starscream, jumps at the chance and later finds out that is was with Bob/Greg. Oh, make sure to hide for a while after this!

13) Mention the other pairings with Starscream and how they seem way more popular than Steve/Starscream.

14) Constantly ask him if he knowes Chugaaconrroy.

15) Confuse him for Greg the Eradicon and proceed to lecture him about how Starscream is more than just a slagging hot frame.

16) Ask him if he's jealous of Greg.

17) Ask him who he thinks is closer to getting Starscream.

18) Tell him that a certain techno organic freak said, "Starscream is mine, sucker, so back off." If he looks confused and replies, "Huh? My loyalty is not to Lord Starscream,", get Soundwave to record it and bring the recording to Megatron. Watch his reaction when he hears Steve call Screamer "Lord Starscream". 

19) Keep reminding Steve how he doesn't stand a chance to be with Starscream. Also throw in the fact that Megatron will forever be closer to Starscream than he ever could. Hell, Knouckout is closer to Starscream than Steve will ever be. Unless, of course, Steve decides to get Starscream his "damn Cheerios, bitch!"

20) Send him a link to the Cheerios commercial where the box says "shut up steve".

21) Ask him if he's gotten Starscream his Cheerios yet.

22) Casually mention you think Starscream's gained some weight recently.

23) Leave the phone number of the "Domestic Abuse" hotline on his desk.

24) Ask him what Starscream and Knockout's baby would look like.

25) Tell Steve that you discovered his hidden shrine to Starscream and that you dumped glitter glue all over it because it needed ''that extra little sparkle.''

26) Whenever you see Steve, shout,"HEY ALLEN! ALLEN! ALLEN! AL! ALLEN! ALLEN!" over and over again. When he tells you for the THOUSANDTH time that his name is Steve, respond by saying "Oh, it's not Allen. It's Steve.......STEVE!! STEVE!! STEVE!! STEVE!!"

27) Tell him that he just won a year's supply of Cheerios cereal, and have Optimus throw a trailer full of Cheerios at him. Bonus points if you can get OPtimus to throw his own trailer. That would explain why you never see it in TF: Prime.

28) Show him the "Meet the Soldier" video on YouTube and tell him that he needs to step up his game if he's ever going to be that good.

29) Call him Sparticus. The joke speaks for itself.

30) Call him by the wrong name on purpose.

31) Ask him what it feels like to be blown to smithereens and then be put back together again.

32) Tell Steve that both he and Starscream need to pay a visit to Dr.Phil. That abusive relationship isn't going to solve itself.

33) Convince Soundwave to let you ride around on Lazerbeak for a little bit. Once you spot Steve, fly over him and pour a bucket of bright red paint on his head. When Steve demands to know why you did that, tell him that it makes it easier to identify him.

34) Confess to Steve about your undying love for him. Then tell Greg the same thing with Steve in earshot.

35) While he's REALLY busy, ask Steve how his relationship with Soundwave is going. Then later, ask about his relationship with Starscream. If he says that both are going fine, then go up to Starscream and Soundwave and tell them Steve is cheating on them.

36) When near Steve, ask him if he's had any Cheerios recently.

37) Lock Steve in a closet with a con/bot of your choosing. Don't come back to rescue them until the next day.

38) Ask him what it feels like to have the same name as Captain America.

39) Mistake him for Captain America.

40) Ask him how he feels about Bob the Insecticon and that many of his fans are now fan-girling/boying over Bob and not him. If he remarks in a way that implies he doesn't like Bob, throw some Scraplets on him and cry about Bob's cruel and short scene and then Steve's death again.

41) Climb around Steve like a jungle gym while naming all the Autobots and Decepticons, asking him which one he likes and which one he LOVES.

42) Ask him why Vehicons look alike. When he explains, say "Thanks Greg!" When he says he's not Greg, say they all look similar and ask him why that is. Repeat until he snaps. Then run to Greg saying "Greg is being mean, stop him Steve!"

43) Show Steve the 'Adventures of Steve' game on Deviant art and after he plays through it, tell him he did it wrong and didn't get the sexy Starscream ending. Come back three days later and see if he's still playing it.

44) Follow Steve around and ask him any question you want, then keep say 'Why?' over and over when he answers. Then when he gets mad, have Soundwave hack the internent and look up that Subaru commercial where that little boy follows that guy around asking 'why?' until the dude snaps. 100 bonus points if you can't find Soundwave.

45) Ask Steve how irritating it is to not be seen differently by the other Decepticons, then convince him to follow Starscream away from the cons. 1,000,000 points if you can get the two of them to join the Autobots.

46) Tell Steve that you have song and dance that is sure to make Starscream love him. Proceed to show him Gangnam Style by PSY.

47) Ask Steve why he and his fellow Eradicons are warrior class, even though they can't fight... Or aim... At all.

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You know, for some reason I can't help but feeling that I've done Steve already, but it's not in my works.... Anybody else get deja vu?