How to annoy the transformers

40 ways to annoy Unicron

Yeah, I know it's not 100. It's the best I got right now! I may go back and toss in a few extra ideas, but this one has been sitting on the backburner for a while now, and I couldn't keep Unicron out of the spotlight for much longer. But, I really think it's a good idea to read these in a locked closet. You never know, Unicron could be watching you. ;)

Launguage/risque. I really am gonna stop throwing that in there, but as soon as I do, I gotta feeling that someone's gonna get on to me about that. Also, it feels like it has become something of a tradition.

Well, enjoy!

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1) Insist on calling him Unicorn. And go on and on like Transformers Prime Miko about him being sparkly.

2) Call him "daddy" (reference from Prime television series).

3) Ask the Chaos Bringer what he put into his veins to create the Dark Energon that turns everybody into druggies.

4) Remark how the planet eater is so strong for nearly defeating the last Prime... But that "worthless Decepticon leader" that he wanted no help from kicked his can. Tough luck.

5) Make "om nom nom" sounds every time you see him/hear of him.

6) Bring up how the (unlucky number) Thirteen and twin brother Primus defeated his big aft.

7) Ask Optimus Prime if you can see the Matrix and then proceed to chase the Lord of Chaos around with it.

8) Shake your head and inform Unicron how if he had given his servants a chance rather then eating them and hardly giving them instructions (but to fetch an army, a body, and the Matrix that you cannot kill him with, durr) things MIGHT have ended up differently.

9) Ask Unicron why in some series' he has buldings portrayed on him if he doesn't want anyone living on him. You wanna live on him after all! (G1; metal made sphere).

10) Call him a moon. Great disguise, by the way, pa!

11) Talk about how replacements parts are so hard to come by and that he should have someone make him custom parts every time instead of using Trypticon's parts.

12) Admit to Unicron even the Decepticons pledged under his name don't even like him (referenced to Transformers Live Action comic issue 2.6).

13) Run around inside of Unicron destroying his "antibodies" with Cybertronians, humans, and others for target practice.

14) Ask Unicron where his birthed/pooped "tainted worlds" that he created are.

15) Make fun of his various colorations in some of the story line universes he's in. And make fun of his change in facial hairs, etc. Apparently he is anal about his appearance like a femmebot.

16) Refer to him as an ox. I mean those horns of his are HUGE!

17) Ask him is he's jealous of cyclonus' horns because in prime they're so ridiculously long.

18) If he's so strong, then how come he gets his butt kick by puny little transformers!

19) Show a picture of a unicorn with Unicron's head!

20) Quote Denathor whenever he is around.

21) Ask him why he always get's his aft kicked by everyone, even though he's supposedly suppose to be a badass and a chaos bringer.

22) Act like a total brat and follow him around, complaining relentlessly about relationship problems and other annoying things. When he finally tells you to shut up and go away, start ranting about his lack of parental skills, and stalk away angrily. Return 2 minutes later to repeat the process.

23) Ask him if you can have a pet Minicon, over and over untill he finally gives in just so you'll stop asking. When he does, hug him and tell him he's "the best daddy ever!" using those exact words.

24) (In reference to Prime) Ask him why he thought the human race were parasites to him. 1 billion points if he says the it's because we are killing every other living thing on the planet, 10 billion if he says 'it because we are stupid'.

25) Repeatedly throw plush toys of Optimus Prime at him. Really any Optimus merchandise will do.

26) Comment on the immense mass of the Earth... then ask if he has a dietary problem. Bonus points if it takes him a while to figure out what you just said.

27) If he created the human race, and is therefore our father, ask him who the mother is.

28) Offer him a carrot or apple. When he blatantly refuses, reply with as much confusion as you can muster, say, "But I thought you said you were a unicorn! Don't unicorns eat like regular horses?"

29) Ask if he pukes rainbows like other Unicorns.

30) Tell him even Government people think he is called 'Unicorn'.

31) Tell him to go on a diet... Then suggest Pluto. He's not good enough for an actual PLANET. ~Pluto-Revolve in Peace~

32) Throw a fake Matrix at him and watch him scream.

33) Ask TFP Unicron how he goes anywhere since he can't fit through doors with those horns of his, and before he can answer state that even without the horns he STILL wouldn't be able to fit because he's such a fatty. Run for your life.

34) Yell at tfp Unicron to "Take a bath, old man!"

35) If you're still alive, let Optimus and Megatron throw soap and water at him. Then run and run and don't look back.

36) Ask him why he looks like the Death Star.