Is it ok to say I love you? (Crainer X Jelly fanfic)

Chapter One

Hello everyone, this is the first fanfiction I have written so I'm sorry it's bad. Updates will probably be slow, because I have low self esteem.
I hope you enjoy :)
—————————————————————————
Warning: mention of abuse
Crainer POV:

This man in front of me is the love of my life. His cute brown eyes and his perfect hair are just small details that could describe him. I love him. Wait, no, I can't love him. He's my best friend. He has a girlfriend, I have a wife, and he's straight. Granted my wife, Thea, isn't the love of my life. I didn't want to marry her, but I had no choice.

"Benjamin? Ben? Hey, you there?"

"Huh, oh sorry Jelle," I said, looking at Jelle through my computer screen. "I was just, uh, daydreaming."

"It's ok dude. You look a little sad, are you alright?" Jelle asked with concern in his voice.

As the words hit my ears I winced, remembering what I was thinking of.

"Yeah, I'm alright. It's just been a long day of recording. Especially with Josh killing me over and over," I said, laughing out the last part.

"Ha, Josh does seem to bully you, but it's funny to watch," Jelly joked.

"Maybe for you," I said rolling my eyes.

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity, and then we just started laughing for no reason. As we were laughing, I felt my face getting hot. I was blushing. I tried to hide my face below my face cam, but Jelle saw.

"Aw, Benji, are you blushing?" Jelle said playfully, and started blowing kissing at the camera.

I blushed even harder. And decided to play along with him.

"Yes I am Jelle, you are so cute," I said in a playful tone.

I started blowing kisses at the camera with Jelle, who also seemed to be blushing. We kept saying playful phrases until I heard my office door bust open. Thea stood at the door looking furious.

"I knew it! I knew you were gay! I knew you had a crush on him and now you cheat on me?!?!" Thea screamed.

"What?! Thea it's Jel-"

Thea pushed me out of my chair and I fell to the floor. I tried to get up but she pushed me down again. Thea stood overtop of me and said, "I was going to leave you soon. I have already been cheating on you. I never loved you, but I just wanted you to suffer."

After she said that, she started punching me. I didn't try to stop her. I was weak and couldn't do anything. I was already used to her punches and kicks. They still hurt, but not as much as they used to.

Thea finally left after I started to bleed. I stayed on the floor in immense pain. I then remembered that Jelle was still on. I got up and went to my computer. Jelle looked so scared and his eyes were red. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. He had to have been traumatized by what he saw Thea do. No one except for me has seen Thea be like this.

"B-Ben? What's g-going on? Does this a- alw-ways happen?" Jelle stuttered.

I sighed. I was about to tell one of my biggest secrets in the world, "Thea does this to me every day. When we first started dating she loved me, but I didn't feel that connection with her, or with any girl before for that matter. Ever since then, I realized that I was gay. But with that, I had to break up with Thea. And when I told her, she went ballistic. She started to smack and scratch me. She told me that if I ever tried to leave her, she would k-k-kill m-m-me."

I started to cry. I just told my best friend that I was gay. I know he won't accept me. No one has ever accepted me and no one ever will.

"Ben, why didn't you tell me what was going on?" Jelle said sorrowfully.

"I-I couldn't. She would hurt you too," I responded through my tears. "She said if I told anyone, she would give them the same treatment as me."

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes. I looked at Jelle. He looked very sad.

"Benjamin, did Thea leave the house?" Jelle asked.

"Y-yeah. I heard her slam the front door. Why do you ask?" I answered.

"I'm going to come to your house. I want to help you now since I wasn't able to help you earlier. ," Jelle said in a calm voice.

"Jelle, you don't have too. I'm ok," I responded. I wanted Jelle to come with all of my heart, but I have never been around him before. I don't want to make him see this side of me.

"Benjamin, you need someone," Jelle replied.

"Ok," I said, sighing.
———————————————————————————
Heeeellllloooo peeps, what a great way to start off a story, a deep depressing chapter. So I'm going to try and update by Monday, if I don't I'm sorry, I am a lazy potato. Also Josh is going to be in this and possibly Jordi.

I hope you peeps have a good day :)