Is it ok to say I love you? (Crainer X Jelly fanfic)

Chapter Fourteen

Jelle POV:

Ok, ok. I can do this. What's the worst that can happen? He says no? He doesn't want to be friends anymore? He'll hate me?

Oh god, I need to stop overthinking everything.

I paced around Ben's guest room, after I got off the phone with Josh, contemplating on actually confessing my feelings to Ben. I've never had feelings like this for anyone. And I am really freaking terrified that he won't like me back. I'll be risking our very good friendship if I tell him that I want to be more than friends.

"Ok, Jelle. You need to just grow a pair and do it. If it works out, that's great. If it doesn't work out... Ugh," I whispered to myself.

I stopped pacing and sat on the guest bed, putting my head in my hands. Thinking. Thinking about what Ben has been through. Thinking about what I have been through. We were already close as friends, and now going through all of this together, I honestly feel like it has made us a little bit closer. And I am pretty sure I have dropped some hints that I like him anyway, so he might find me a little bit sus already.

'Maybe you could tell him how much you love him like you tell me how much you love him,' I remembered Josh saying.

I just need to be honest. I need to open up.

I stood up off the bed, walked toward the guest room door, and opened it. I walked out of the room and down the hall to Ben's office, stopping at the closed door.

"Hey Ben, I'm off call, just letting you know," I said.

"Ok, I'll be out in a minute," Ben replied.

I backed away from the door and went to the living room. I sat on the couch waiting for Ben to come out of his office. My knee was bouncing up and down as I sat in silence. Though, the silence didn't last for long. I heard a doorknob turn and a door creak open, coming from the hall.

I felt my gut drop. I am about to tell my crush my feelings. This is exciting and terrifying at the same time. Ben walked down the hall and appeared in the arch that seperated the hall from the living room.

"Hey Jelle, could I talk to you? I'm not mad or upset with you or anything. I just want to tell you something," Ben said. I could see he was worries about something.

Wait, Ben wants to talk to me? Has he caught on that I like him? Oh God this is awefull.

"Uh yeah, you can talk to me. I was actually going to talk to you about something as well," I replied.

"Oh, ok. Is everything alright?" Ben asked with a look of nervousness.

"Yeah, everything's ok. I also wanted to tell you something," I said with a small laugh.

Ben smiled slightly and came over to the couch, where I was sitting. He sat down next to me, leaving about half-a-foot of space between us. We were very close. Our thighs were touching and I started to gain a light blush. We sat in silence for a minute or two, waiting for the other to speak.

"What would you do if your bestfriend had a crush on you?" Ben asked all of a sudden.

"Uh- I- Um- What?" I studdered, being caught off guard by the question.

"What would you do?" Ben asked, looking into my eyes.

"Um... I don't know," I said. Why is he asking me this? Wait... He's figured out that I am crushing over him! NO! NO! NO! NO! THIS IS AWEFUL!!!!

"Oh ok. Do you want me to tell you what I would do?" Ben asked, smiling a bit.

"I mean, if you want to," I replied, feeling confused about what's going on.

"Well, if my bestfriend had a crush on me, I would do this," Ben said.

"You would do wha-" I was cutoff by soft lips being pressed againts my own. Ben was kissing me, and he was very good at it. This is a dream come true. But, that dream stopped happening as soon as it started.

Ben stopped kissing me and leaned back away from me. I quietly whined at the lack of feeling Ben, but I did feel something else; my pants getting tight around my front.

"Jelle, I love you with all my heart. I have never had feelings like this for anyone before. I have loved you ever since I met you," Ben said, tearing up.

"Wait you... love me?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

"Yes. Very, very much," Ben replied with a soft smile and a tear running down his cheek. "I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I just didn't know how. I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same towards me, and you probably don't. I just wanted you to know how much I love you. And if you don't want to be friends anymore I understand. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

I was stunned. My bestfriend, who is my crush, has a crush on me.

There was a silence in the room. I still was in awe of Ben's kiss. I replayed the scene in my head multiple times, making the front of my pants even tighter. Ben glanced around the living room, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Ben?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" Ben responded, looking in my direction.

"I now know what I would do if my bestfriend had a crush on me," I said, trying not to smirk.

"And that is?" Ben asked with nervousness.

"This," I said, right before slamming my lips onto Ben's. I put my hands behind Ben's head Ben then put his hands on my waist, and was kissing me back. I got onto my knees and pushed Ben onto his back, now laying on top of him. As I layed on him, I noticed something was poking my thigh, but I ignored it.

I pulled my head away as we both gasped for air.

"Do you still think that I'm mad?" I asked, panting.

"N-No," Ben replied, also panting.

"Good," I said, kissing Ben again with love that has been kept inside of me for years.

This is a dream come true.
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HELLO EVERYONE!!!! I am so glad to have finally posted this chapter. I am covid free, my mental health is getting better, and I actually had confidence when writing this chapter.

This story is NOT DONE yet. I would like to get to 25 chapters. This book has been so much fun to write and I am very, very grateful for all the support on it. This hit over 1k reads the other day. I didn't think I was even going to have 100, but here we are.

Alright, I'll stop talking. Have a GREAT DAY :D