Sugar, Spice and Anything But Nice

Trust

Sage

My heart was still racing an hour after I'd told the girls my story. It hadn't been easy raking up the past, especially not while I wasn't under the influence. When I'd escaped that house, I figured I was gonna be able to breathe again and smile again but I'd been wrong. I fell even harder and there was nothing to hold onto.

For days I lived on the streets, living off of the kindness from other people. I quickly learned that people weren't kind at all. I craved to feel happy and wanted it again so much that it became an ache. A permanent pain in my body and it got harder every day. When someone offered me drugs I couldn't find any reasons to say no. Everything had been lost any way, what was stopping me?

"Excuse me, I have an appointment with Henry W-"

"You can take a seat over there." The lady at the front desk told me. I had another meeting with my probation officer and I was sensing I'd have to pee in another cup. Luckily, I was clean and ready to get high when I got back tonight.

"Sage, come on in." The pudgy man told me and I went inside his office.

"Mr. Wa- I mean Henry." I told him. During our first meeting he told me to call him Henry instead of Mr. Waters because he told me it was important for our professional relationship. I didn't get it but I decided to obey him anyway. You kinda had to obey your probation officer if you didn't want to get in any more trouble than you already were.

I took a seat on the cold, hard chair and he took a seat next to me. That was another strange thing he did. He didn't like to sit behind his desk but next to me, like 'equals' as he put it. It made me uncomfortable but I'd nodded and smiled nonetheless.

"How have you been since the last time we talked, Sage?" Henry asked me. His dark hair was slowly turning to ash and I tried to ignore the bald spots on his head.

"I'm okay." I told him.

"Are you clean?" He asked.

"I am. You can test me." I replied confidently.

"I'm not gonna test you. From now on, I'm going to trust you." He told me and it was enough for me to let my jaw drop. I looked at him like he'd just gone insane because at that moment I was fairly convinced that he was.

"Don't look so shocked, Sage. This is our third meeting, your test results have always been negative. I trust it'll stay that way." He told me and I bit the inside of my cheek to hide the flurry of emotions in my body. He trusted me being honest and that meant everything to me because it had been one of the things I once craved so much. I'd given up on it. People took one look at me and judged me immediately. I was scum, a junkie, homeless. Trusted.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"Has it been hard for you?" Henry asked. I knew he was still asking his standard questions but the atmosphere had shifted gradually.

"Yes." I nodded.

"You're doing great. My brother is an addict. When he tried to stop he relapsed a lot." Henry shared.

"But he's better now?" I asked him. Usually he was the one asking the questions but now it was the other way around.

"Unfortunately not. I don't want you to end up like him." He said, his eyes full of raw emotion. I put a comforting hand on his and he squeezed it gently.

"Anyway, since you're doing well, I'm gonna request less community service hours for you." Henry announced.

"Thank you so much!" I told him enthusiastically. Even though the day had started out so grim it really made a turn for the best. I hated community service and no more drug tests meant I could start using again whenever I wanted.