A Perfect Boyfriend | Lee Felix

45

Ayumi's POV

(Next day)

What he told me last night is still fresh on mind. It was so painful. It was like I am being torn apart. My heart shattered into pieces and my mind is full of thoughts. How did this happen?

I jut remember us so happy yesterday, being thankful to one another, planning our future with each other, making each other feel that we are going to be together forever.

Why did everything come to an end so quick?

I don't know if I should be thankful that he told me about it or not. Should I be thankful that he told me about it? Or should I be hurt that we are done and will never be together again. How come this hurt so bad?

I didn't get enough sleep since last night. I cried the whole night and keep thinking what should I do now? Should I avoid him? Should I put him in jail? Should I hate him? What would I do now?

"Ayumi" Hyunjae called as he knocked on the door

"You should eat" Sangyeon

The door opened "We all know what happened between you and Felix. Do you think crying all night will make things better for you?" Juyeon

"We just broke up. That's it. Nothing serious"

Why am I suddenly lying knowing that Felix killed my Father? My brothers should know about. They are the first people who should know about the truth. Why am I suddenly defending him?

"Ayumi, get up" Juyeon said and went to me

"I don't want to"

"Do you think crying will make things better? What the hell is wrong with you?" Juyeon

"Juyeon! What's wrong with you?!" Hyunjae shouted

"We know that Felix is the suspect! We are not talking about even though he is dating you! Do you want to know why? You look fucking happy and we are fine with it as long as you are happy! Do you know how hard it is for us? We are trying so hard not to show any negative response to Felix! We don't want you to feel that we hate him and we are not okay with him! Pull yourself together! You are not the only person who knows about it! Please!" Juyeon shouted

Did I heard it, right? They knew about him. They know about what happened yet they didn't even blink an eye. They didn't even fight for Dad's justice. They stayed quiet for so many years?

"You knew? Why didn't you all tell me?"

"We wanted to tell you" Sangyeon

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?! I look like a fool!"

"You look happy with him. We got scared that you might hate someone you love" Hyunjae

"That's so fucked up. Felix fooled me. The three of you fooled me as well. Is there something I need to know? Is there something you all are hiding from me? Please, tell me. I don't think I can still make this"

This is so fucked up.

"We didn't tell you because we got scared you will be stuck in between. We are too late when we found out about it. You were dating him already. We're sorry for hiding it-" Sangyeon

"P-Please, leave. I don't think I can still be strong after what I heard. Please..."

_______________________________

It's 9 pm already but I didn't even go downstairs. I am in my room all day. I didn't eat lunch nor dinner. I didn't even eat breakfast earlier because I had a fight with my brothers.

Am I going to be fine?

Everyone fooled me. Everyone around me fooled me all this time. How come I still don't feel mad nor hate them after what I heard? This is so unfair. Why am I hurt? I should get mad.

I am fucking hurt.

I opened my phone and saw a lot of messages from our friends. There is no message from Felix at all. I see. He is finally leaving me alone. He should really do that. I don't think seeing him will be fine.

When will things get better?

When will the life give me the happiness I deserve?

Am I even going to be happy?

If yes, when will that happen?

If no, why?

"I'm sorry" Juyeon said as he entered the room "I was wrong for suddenly shouted at you. It was wrong of me to act like that. I hope you understand why we didn't tell you about it. I swear. You look happy with Felix. You look so fine with him. We never asked for anything but your happiness-"

"...but it didn't last long"

He nodded "Felix must've had a hard time for deciding to tell you or not. If it's hard for you, it's harder for him. It's either he will lie forever and be with you or tell you the truth and let you go"

"My mind is a mess. I want to rest now. Thank you"

He smiled and left my room.

My tears started falling from my eyes as I looked at my phone's wallpaper.

It was me and Felix.

I miss you

... but I don't think I should be.

I love you

... but it's also hurting me.

Felix.

Please, be well without me.

I know it'll be hard for me but I hope you will set yourself free.

"I am still hoping for your happiness"