ROCK MY WORLD

19. Rocker Chick

I wake up the next morning with my stomach turning, feeling so nervous that I could throw up. I lay in the bed for a moment longer, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Today is the day that I perform in front of thousands of fucking people. And for real this time.
I get out of bed and walk in to the bathroom. I strip out of my pajamas and turn on the shower, giving myself a moment to stand underneath the shower head. I close my eyes and allow my thoughts about tonight wander as I let the water run over my face and down my body. My mouth suddenly curls into a smile...I'm fucking performing tonight. I'm really doing this and the guys don't even know it yet!

I hop out of the shower and dry myself off before getting changed into a pair of bell bottoms and a cute floral crop top. I dry my hair and leave it down naturally wavy when there is a sudden knock at the door. I walk over to open it and see Kirk standing in front of me. I can't help but smile up at him.
"Are you ready? Peter wants us down immediately so the band can blast through the set list", he says.
Fuck yeah I'm ready.
"Just wait one minute", I say before quickly running over to grab my flying v guitar.
I smile as I make my way back over to Kirk standing at the door.
"You're happy today", he says with a smile.
"Yeah... I just had a good night's sleep" I reply, trying to contain my excitement as we make our way out of the room.
We walk out of the elevator and in to the lobby where the rest of the band is waiting.
"Are you sure you're not going to get bored? It's going to be a long day, we'll be staying at the venue until it's time for us to perform-" Kirk says as we walk over to the guys.
"Kirk, it's fine" I reply, looking up at him with a smile.
"Okay" he replies, smiling back at me.
"Alright let's go!" Peter shouts and I'm instantly hit with nerves in the pit of my stomach.
I take a deep breath in and we make our way over to the tour bus.

Moments later, we pull up to the Delta Center and I start to get butterflies in my stomach. I walk down the steps, following behind the band and I take a deep breath in, trying to calm myself before we walk through the doors.
"You okay?" Kirk asks, looking over at me with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine" I reply, when I'm secretly shitting bricks.
I attempt to hold back my nerves, trying not to raise any suspicion from the guys as we follow the bodyguards backstage.
"You can come with me to rehearsal if you want or you can stay in my dressing room and practice" Kirk suggests, as I follow him in to the dressing room.
"I think I'm just going to stay here", I reply.
"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours" he says, before shutting the door behind him.

I stand for a minute in the middle of the room. Thoughts race through my head and my palms start to sweat as I think about that fucking riff....I have just a few hours to perfect it. I take a deep breath in. You're not going to freak out Blake, you're not fucking doing this again. Music is your life, it's the one thing that has helped you survive high school. It's the one thing that you knew of yourself, the one thing that felt right. This is your chance to finally get out there and show everyone who you are.
I walk over to the couch and sit down with my guitar. I start to play the opening of Nothing Else Matters, practicing and stopping, practicing and stopping each time as I go back to the riff.
"Fuck!" I scream out loud.
"Blake?" Kirk says as he suddenly opens the door.
He notices me with the guitar in my hand and his gaze softens, walking in to the room before slowly closing the door behind him.
"No luck with it yet?"
I shake my head, feeling defeated.
"What did I tell you? That you will get it in the moment that you allow yourself to connect to the song emotionally" he says, walking over to sit down next to me.
"You have every reason to be able to connect with that song, allow yourself to let go and feel your emotions" he continues, looking into my soul with his intense, dark eyes.
"Are you sure you weren't meant to be a therapist and not a rockstar?" I reply jokingly.
He smiles gently at me and lifts his hand up to my chin to look at him. Fuck...he makes me weak.
"You don't need to rush yourself, you still have to time to practice until you feel like you're ready to perform".
I smile at him and let out a gentle laugh.
"I have to head back to the guys, we only have a minute break", he says.