ROCK MY WORLD

10. Tour

1 week later

We're heading out on to the road in 24 hours and will not be back for a few months. I don't know who I will be when we get back. I've already felt a change in myself ever since I've been spending time with Kirk and it has only been two weeks. He has helped me through so much and has believed in me when I never believed in myself. He is helping me to become the person I want to be which is the reason why I came to San Francisco in the first place. But, I wasn't expecting any of this to happen.

I sit with the band in the studio as they talk through the tour list again, where we are heading to and the venues we are performing at:

1. Los Angeles, California - Staples Center
2. Miami, Florida - Hard Rock Stadium
3. Atlanta, Georgia - Mercedes-Benz Stadium
4. Austin, Texas - Zilker Park
5. Salt Lake City, Utah - Delta Center
6. New York City, New York - Madison Square Garden
7. Seattle, Washington - Seattle Center Coliseum
8. Louisiville, Kentucky - KFC Yum! Center

LA is first and we're performing at the Staples Center. I'm already starting to love the sound of the rock n' roll lifestyle. The constant hustle and movement, spending months out on the open road while playing music sounds like heaven to me. Especially when you're surrounded by your kind of people who you connect with on every level can be the most freeing thing to experience.

The tour manager walks in to the room as we continue to go through the list.
"Blake you're all set, I've had your equipment arranged at the venues. You will have your own mic and guitar and they should be ready to use when you get there".
"Thanks Peter", I reply.
"It'll be a long few months Blake, there's no backing down now" James says, looking over at me with a smile.
"I couldn't be more excited, thank you for bringing me with you guys", I say to them but mainly to Kirk as he looks over at me and winks.

Morning

"Blake", Kirk says as he knocks and slowly peeks his head around the door.
I moan and turn my back away from him.
"Somone's not a morning person", he says sarcastically.
"Five more minutes", I say finally.
"Come on it's time to get up, we have a show to get to" he says, as he walks over to the bed and leans over me hidden underneath the covers.
"Come on get yourself out of there, stop hiding from me" he says, playfully tugging on the covers as I grip tightly.
"How am I going to get you out of there?", he says mischievously.
He suddenly climbs on to the bed and gets on top of me, pulling the covers away from my face.
"Kirk!" I scream, at the sudden sight of him on top of me, making me laugh nervously. I blush hard and he stops for a moment to stare down at me, my body pressed underneath his. He hovers over me as I look up at his beautiful face. My awkward laughter starts to fade away as he leans closer to me, staring at me for a moment longer.
"What?" I ask, looking up at his face.
"Nothing" he says, smiling sweetly at me while looking into my eyes.
"We're leaving in an hour" he says, quickly changing the subject as he gets off the bed.
I want to ask him what he was thinking about but I hold my tongue.
"Who's driving?" I ask.
"We have a hired guy who drives us to our shows in our tour bus".
"That's so cool, I almost forgot you're a rockstar who has people doing everything for you", I say jokingly.
He laughs and lifts his arm up to his chest pretending to feel wounded by the sarcastic joke I made.
"You should get ready now and you can meet me downstairs when you're done" he says, before shutting the door behind him.

I go in to the bathroom and take a quick shower. I dry my hair and let it hang long over my shoulders before putting on a pair of bell bottom jeans and a cropped floral top. I grab my suitcase and handbag and head downstairs to meet Kirk. He is standing at the bottom of the stairs wearing a white hat, a black leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, a chain hanging from his neck and of course his piercings. He looks so fucking beautiful as he takes his cigar from between his lips and looks up at me.
"Ready?" He says, with a big smile on his face.
"Ready" I say, smiling back at him as I take in a deep breath, still not believing I'm doing this.

We drive in to the studio and the tour bus is sitting in the parking lot. 'Metallica' is written in large capital letters across the side, sending an instant wave of nerves through my stomach. James notices us and waves us in.
We get out of the car and the driver grabs our stuff from the trunk as we walk over to the guys.
"How are you feeling Blake?" James asks.
"A little nervous" I reply, smiling timidly at him.
"You'll be great. You wouldn't be here if we didn't think you were good" he says, wrapping his arm around me and giving me a tight squeeze.
I smile up at him before looking over at Kirk as he smokes his cigar with a jealous look on his face. He takes a few more puffs of his cigar and I follow him over to the bus.

We walk in to the bus and I take a look around. The warm, glossy wood and the leather black couches that stretch long on either side. A large round table sits next to the window on the left.
"It's a lot nicer than I expected", I say surprised.
"Claim the bunk bed of your choosing", Kirk says, putting on a fancy voice as he motions his hands at them.
I pull the little red velvet curtain across and take a look inside to see if it fits to my standard.
"This one", I say pointing at it.
"I'll be in the one below you" he says suggestively, before walking over to the bus driver to give him a pat on the back.
"We're ready to go man", he says and we drive off.
The other guys walk over to claim their bunk beds before we all sit down at the round table.
"Are you looking forward to performing Blake?" Jason asks, looking at me from across the table.
"Yeah, I'm really excited", I reply.
"We have one day free to rehearse on the stage with the sound equipment", James adds.
"Wait until you see just how big the place is" says Lars.
My nerves are hitting me like a brick wall this time and I feel like I could throw up. I take in a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

The guys continue to talk to each other while I take another moment of doubt. I start to panic as I think about the riff that I have been struggling to perfect. What if I mess it up in the performance?
"Are you feeling okay Blake, you look pale", says Lars.
Without answering him I get up from the table and run in to the tiny bathroom. I violently puke into the toilet and Kirk rushes in after me. He leans over me and holds my hair back from my face.
"You can back out if you're feeling too nervous", he says guiltily.
I finally stop vomiting and turn to face him.
"No, I'm doing this", I say sternly "I want to do this".
He grabs a cloth from the sink and runs it under the cold water. He kneels down in front of me and gently dabs it over my face, staring into my eyes.
"I'm really proud of you Blake" he says softly, making my good nerves come back and I instantly feel better.
I smile gently at him and we get up to walk back to the table. The guys look up at me with concerned looks on their faces.
"Are you okay Blake?" Asks Jason.
"Yeah, I'm feeling better now" I reply.

It's night time when we make it to Los Angeles. We sat talking for hours at the table and drank a few too many beers.
I decide to head to bed as I start to feel tired. Lars and Jason head to bed shortly after me since we have to make it early to the Staples Center in the morning. James and Kirk stay at the table to drink the rest of their beers and talk some more.
I put on my pajamas in the bathroom and climb up in to my bunk. I lay inside my cozy little bed and with the light movements of the bus, I fall asleep instantly.

I wake up to the sound of my name. James and Kirk are still talking but they are not whispering as quietly anymore. It has been an hour, so I assume they think I'm asleep. I try to listen to what they are saying but struggle to hear them over Lars' loud snoring in the bunk across from me.
"Blake is some girl", James says.
"I know. She's amazing", Kirk replies as he goes to take a sip of his beer.
"You really like her don't you?" James asks.
Kirk stares over at him, looking serious now as he sets his beer down on the table.
"So fucking much", he says as he looks through the window into the black abiss outside. He takes a swing of his beer and pauses before continuing.
"I think I'm actually in love with her man. I know it sounds stupid because it's only been two weeks but she's so amazing to me".

I lay in my bunk bed and listen, feeling like I could cry. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same way. He's bringing out a part of myself that I never thought I could be. He's bringing out a confidence in me that I never knew I had. He's the only person who I bond with over music and when I am with him, I feel like I have finally found my place in the world.