outerbanks imagines.

selfishness-rafe

{don't nobody say nothing about this man being psycho ... he's HOT & i will continue to write about him as though i could change him <3}

"what happened?"
y/n asked to a troubled rafe,
his hands grabbing at his own hair in a moment of hysteria.
"i don't know...i don't know."
she looked around the hangar that rafe was currently stranded on,
trying to find solace in the warm air that brushed her skin.
but her heart was climbing into her throat at this scene before her;
she knew there would be no comfort here.
had leaving rafe plunged him into a deep hurt he couldn't escape from?
that's the only explanation y/n could come up with to explain this new rafe before her;
sweat beaded at his head from strenuous work at being conniving.
y/n kneeled beside him,
gently laid her hand to his shoulder,
and said,
"come on..let's go."
"i don't-i can't. i have to-"
"rafe, this isn't your battle."
he looked to her with bloodshot eyes that were decorated in black underneath from a lack of sleep.
she had heard all about the chase for the cross and the gold.
it had been the sole purpose of her leaving the town after all.
y/n extended her hand out for him to take,
but found it empty after rafe turned his head.
"you left."
"i-"
y/n's words faltered.
there would be no amount of reasoning good enough to make up for what she'd done;
she abandoned him.
"i know."
"why?"
y/n hadn't realized that his eyes were locked with hers now.
the pain ringing inside of them made her stomach tighten with a pain she never knew existed.
"i was tired, rafe. i knew if i stayed any longer....i'd go insane. there was nothing left for me here."
"how can you say that?"
rafe's voice broke a little.
"i was here! i've always been here for you!"
y/n shook her head.
"no...no, you haven't been you for a while. you couldn't have really believed i didn't notice? the erratic behavior, your shortened temper, you-you lying to me! the moment you got involved with barry is when you lost me."
y/n took a few steps back to steady her breath;
it was beginning to catch in her throat with the arising of tears.
"you just didn't care to notice until i left."
rafe slowly got to his feet and inhaled deeply.
would there ever be enough time to make up for their selfishness?
neither of them were innocent in the destruction of their relationship,
but both of them were surely still in love,
as crazy as it may seem.
it had been why she returned here after all,
and why he gave up stealing the cross.
"i don't know what's going on, y/n. i don't know what to do."
"we can start by leaving here,"
y/n suggested,
hugging her chest as tears began to stain her cheeks.
rafe sauntered over to where she stood and wiped away the tears falling from her eyes.
she felt bliss overcome her at the all too familiar caress.
"i'll go anywhere with you, y/n."
he pulled her into his chest,
where she was met with a wave of nostalgia.
she missed more this more than anything and would do anything to keep it in her grasp.
"let's go, rafe."
***
when rafe opened his eyes the next morning,
he felt lighter than he'd ever known to be.
the night before with y/n,
his long time love,
was pure ecstasy.
they hadn't said much,
just laid there together in moments of utter devotion,
soaking up each other's missed presence.
he recalled the chills rising on his skin when y/n pressed a kiss to his jaw,
recalled how joyful he felt when she'd finally fallen asleep with her arms around him.
he turned over to let his gaze fall on y/n,
but found that his bed was empty,
having only the faintest impression that she was ever here.
rafe sat up quickly,
wondering if the whole night had been a hallucination conjured up by his fried brain and desperate heart.
"about time you woke up."
a blessing he did not deserve;
y/n had returned to him.
he felt the weight of the world lift itself off of his shoulders at the sight of her.
"you okay? you look pale."
"just...just happy to see you...that's all."
y/n sat on the edge of his bed and handed him the bowl of fruit she'd acquired.
rafe placed it on his nightstand to quickly pull y/n into his chest.
she let out a laugh but complied,
falling relaxed into his arms and lying with him.
neither of them could speak,
too scared to ruin this perfected moment here.
but when y/n looked up at him,
finding that trouble still lingered in those eyes of his,
she said,
"things have got to change, rafe. who you've been recently is not who you truly are."
y/n's fingertips traced small circles below his collarbone as she spoke.
"i know."
he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head and allowed himself a moment to think.
he realized,
suddenly,
that his fathers approval no longer meant much to him,
that the life he once lead was not worth losing his lover for.
it would be a rough change,
but he would fight every urge, every thought, and every temptation if it meant keeping y/n by his side.
"i'll do everything necessary to keep you here with me, y/n..i don't want to hurt you anymore. i'm sorry i ever did. it was-it was stupid of me. i was so blinded by ward..."
y/n sat up to gain a better view of him;
the worry lines furrowed between his eyebrows pulled on y/n's heartstrings.
she used her thumb to smooth out the creases,
which made him laugh in turn.
"i love you,"
he said,
bringing her hands to his lips and lying soft kisses against her knuckles.
"and i'm gonna be better."
"i believe you."
y/n leaned in and joined him in a quick, but still vehement, kiss that riled their nerves.
it was the beginning to a long road of healing.
but every step taken would be worth it in the end.
***
y/n stood on the highest point of the pier,
relishing in the whistles of the wind in her ears.
the water below her began to rise and fall like clockwork,
but the sounds of the churning waves were tranquil nonetheless.
"what a beautiful view."
y/n felt rafe's arms snake themselves around her waist,
his head resting against her shoulder.
she giggled and relaxed back into his arms.
"it is. the ocean is beautiful."
"oh, yeah, the oceans beautiful, too."
y/n rolled her eyes at his cheesy remark,
but still found pleasure in the heat that rushed to her cheeks.
she turned around to face him,
linking her hands at the nape of his neck.
y/n realized how healthy and happy he looked.
ever since she returned to the outerbanks and found rafe at the hangar,
their lives had changed tremendously.
rafe and her hurried to move out of their suffocating homes,
finding refuge in the company of one another.
rafe found the necessary treatment to live his life,
all while their love had blossomed entirely.
rafe's thumb caressed down the middle of y/n's eyebrows as she was thinking,
smoothing out the lines there.
she couldn't help but laugh.
"what's worrying you?"
"nothing, if you can believe it...nothing at all."
y/n inhaled a deep breath of salty air to recharge her faltering body;
it often happened at the memory of their past lives.
"we're together, we're happy."
"and we're only at the beginning of the rest of our lives,"
rafe said with a genuine smile,
then met her in for a vigorous kiss,
so full of passion and excitement that y/n could feel his racing heart beneath her palm.
rafe felt his future come together in this moment,
the missing pieces finally falling into place.
the two had already seemed to come out triumphant through hardships that once weakened them.
rafe now knew that,
with y/n,
the impossible was now feasible.
a blessed life it was and forever would be.