outerbanks imagines.

hot tub conversations-jj

"why are we here?"
i asked as the house of barry appeared in my vision.
"yo soy justicia,"
jj answered with a grin to his lips,
now climbing out of the van.
everyone sat back in a rising confusion while jj entered the house.
"someone should probably-"
"yeah. i got it."
john b sighed as he got out of the van to trail behind jj and figure out all that was happening.
the rest of us got out to wait for the boys outside;
the anticipation was thick in the air.
i kicked the dirt beneath me in boredom before hearing the voices of john b and jj exit the house.
i eyed the blue bag in jj's hand and felt my breathing quicken.
after just being gunned down,
jj was stealing from the same man in a moment of blinded revenge.
"so we're looking at five grand each,"
he explained as the cash laid in his hands.
"so that's what we're doing now? robbing drug dealers?"
"seriously, jj. this isn't smart,"
i mumbled,
hearing the rest of the gang protest.
"how'd you guys like having a gun pulled on you?"
jj asked with his anger growing by the second.
i felt my heart race as the tension in the group solidified.
this was neither the time or place. 
john b and jj ended up in a fight of their own,
leaving the rest of us to sit back and watch in our own worry.
"i'm not putting it back,"
jj decided with an iron fist.
he climbed into the van and sat back as though nothing were wrong with this current situation.
"you guys getting in or what?"
we all stood in silence,
waiting for the common sense to kick into him.
we'd wait all day if we had to.
but after years of friendship with jj,
you soon learn that once his mind is made up,
there is little convincing left to do.
jj had his decision set firm.
"come on, jj. you can't...you can't do this. it's not smart,"
i offered.
he jumped out of his seat with an ire beginning in his fists and ending in the wild gleam in his eyes.
"you know what? fine. i'll go right off by myself with my not smart decision. that's what you what, right?"
jj walked off with the bag tucked beneath his arm.
everyone was shocked by both his yelling and reckless behavior,
as used to it as we might've been,
this was something entirely different.
this wasn't deciding to pocket a tube of chapstick from the store for fun,
this wasn't replying to authoritative figures in a tone of sarcasm to rile them up,
jj was stealing from someone who already wanted us dead.
"jj, wait."
pope called,
beginning to chase him down before john b pulled him back.
"you're all just gonna let him walk off? that's it?"
i asked in heavy condescendence.
"come on, we're leaving,"
john b muttered as he started towards the van with our friends following.
"i'm-i'm...gonna catch up with jj."
"we know you're in love with him and all, y/n, but that's not smart!
kie protested,
making my heart sink.
how could she weaponize that against me?
my love for jj was nothing short of pure and warm-hearted,
it never impaired my judgement.
i was doing as a friend would do;
i was helping.
i shook my head in disappointment at her low blow then began heading the other way.
"jj!"
i yelled,
hoping he'd hear the ring of my voice and stop.
but the anger that currently rushed through his body forced him to continue ahead.
i began running as fast as my legs could take me before i finally caught up with him.
my heart sank at the tears staining his cheeks.
"jj,"
i spoke in a whisper,
placing my hand on his forearm to stop him.
it worked.
he stood there with tears welling in his eyes and his body trembling.
"i need it, y/n. i need this money."
i pulled the boy closer to me and let him mollify in my arms.
here we were,
two crying and sweaty teens in the middle of no where,
finding comfort where comfort was lost.
i raked my fingers through his hair as we talked through the pain burrowing in his heart.
after a while of my listening and consoling,
jj was wiped and ready to go. 
"let's get going,"
i said while reaching for his hand to entwine with mine.
he was more than happy to oblige.
we walked home as quickly as we could,
letting the moment between us mellow out in a content silence.
when we reached the street that often split us,
with me going left and him going right,
i stood still with his hand in mine.
"i'll see you tomorrow, jj. be safe. and..and call if you need anything."
"i will. thank you for being there, y/n. means a lot."
i nodded in acknowledgement of his thanks then wrapped him into one last hug.
i could only hope and pray that such affable love would soothe all that was hurting. 
"i'll see you tomorrow,"
he whispered into my ear before pulling back to plant a kiss on my cheek.
we parted ways down our streets,
walking backwards to stay intact with one another.
i don't think we ever took our eyes off one another until the horizon separated us.
***
the next day i went with kie and pope to the chateau where we would hear a foreign rise of humming machinery, loud music, and solo cheers.
when we looked a little closer,
there sat a drunk jj who was in a hot tub.
"you spent all the money in one day?"
kie asked in shock.
"yeah burned a hole right in my pocket,"
everyone stood in a cheerless awe;
as though jj were a scene of grotesque nature that we could not tear our eyes from.
i swallowed hard to rid myself of the dryness in my throat,
then shook my head.
our eyes locked.
"what, y/n? what?"
all that i had wanted to say,
had been wiped from me yet again.
i simply had no words.
jj began to explain himself through slurred words,
but it only made my heart ache a little more.
kie and pope began chastising jj for his purchase,
yelling about his irresponsible it was,
that the money was never his to begin with.
whatever they could throw at him,
they did.
i stood back and watched his emotions unfold in those wide eyes of his.
something was wrong here,
a vital piece of information was missing.
it ran deeper than jj just wanting a hot tub for fun.
there had been something acting as a catalyst for this purchase.
the words he yelled as he stood up became muffled once my curiosity had been fulfilled.
bruises covered his abdomen,
thick and purple.
i felt the wind knock itself loose from of me.
i knew something horrible had happened,
but how could i have neglected to assume this?
it did nothing but shatter my heart.
"look what i did for you!"
he cried in a moment of hysteria.
i didn't have to see the friends beside me to know our reactions were mutual;
nauseous and on the verge of sobbing for jj.
"jj,"
i finally mumbled as i stepped closer to him.
he wiped his fallen tears with the back of his hand as i climbed into the hot tub,
still fully dressed but hardly caring.
as soon as i was close enough,
i threw my arms around him as carefully as i could manage and let him fall limp into my arms all over again.
pope and kie soon stepped in and joined in on the hug to support the hurt boy.
it took every bit of strength my body offered not to cave and cry with him;
his sobs reverberating off my chest hurt more than anything imaginable.
after a while of us sitting there tangled amongst each other,
the only noise in the air being the low drone of the jets,
kie and pope decided that i was the only one jj would find solace in right now.
though they didn't say it aloud,
i could hear them loud and clear through the looks in their eyes.
after they parted,
i joined jj back in the hot tub and sat beside him.
the liquid in his cup was quickly downed.
"i don't know. i like the cats ass,"
he said lowly,
leaning his head back.
i offered a giggle at the hot tubs name which made him sit back upright again.
he chuckled with me.
"she is very warm,"
i said.
"yeah, thought you'd might like it."
i played with the water around me for a little now that we sat in silence.
he soon spoke up again,
asking,
"why don't you ever yell at me like they do?"
"dont think yelling really solves anything, you know?"
i let my eyes linger on the upper half of him;
anything lower and i might cry at the sight of the bruises again.
still,
i couldn't stop myself from admiring how the lights of the hot tub made him look beatific.
"yeah but it's like.. you support me in everything i do."
"i wish i could give you a valid answer. i just...i do. and i always will."
he turned his head towards me,
eyes roaming around my being.
was it possible he admired me just as much as i admired him?
"are you really in love with me?"
he asked,
though by his tone i could tell he already knew.
the words made my heart stop.
i tried to speak but the words wouldn't form.
i could deny it and ruin the ample opportunity,
or accept it and be met with words of rejection.
"you are,"
he finally said to himself.
my silence had confirmed all that i couldn't say.
his smile was big despite the circumstances surrounding us.
"look, i-i uh.."
i trailed off,
not sure what to say.
"how did you find out?"
i whispered.
i accepted my fate;
he knew.
there was no point in denying it further.
"i heard kie the other day."
i buried my face in my hands.
"don't be embarrassed, y/n. i've been waiting for you to come around,"
he said with a laugh as he inched closer to me,
draping an arm around my shoulder.
i went to speak but was interrupted by the sloppy kiss jj placed on my lips,
drunken but still so loving.
he placed his thumb on my chin,
our lips now moving in perfect sync.
once our fervor had been exhausted,
he pulled back slowly.
my eyes opened to reveal a grinning jj who's eyes glimmered in passion.
i shyly laughed in response.
"i've been waiting so long to do that,"
he whispered against my lips,
lying a peck to them.
"was it everything you'd imagined?"
i taunted while gathering my hands at the nape of his neck.
"mm, everything and more."
***
the next day,
i woke up with a new attitude.
jj was into me.
i had waited so long for this moment and now it was finally right there in front of me.
i promised to meet him at the chateau the next morning,
considering how i had to hurry home before my curfew.
i walked in with a painted smile against my lips.
"hey!"
i greeted upon arrival.
he shook his head and covered his eyes with his palms.
"oh,"
he groaned.
"i've got a splitting headache...how much did i drink last night?"
he asked while lying back against the couch.
"a lot. like, a lot,"
i replied with a small snicker.
"god. never again."
he grinned along with me;
we both knew how untrue that statement was.
though at this,
i began to wonder if last nights memory stuck with him.
i looked at the tops of my shoes then asked,
"do you remember last night?"
"uh...bits and pieces."
i felt my heart of hope deflate.
he couldn't remember.
would i ever get another chance to show him my true love again?
i ran my hands through my hair,
feeling foolishness cloud me.
"i do remember you and i sharing the best kiss, though. how could i forget such a beautiful girl lying her lips to mine?"
his hand trailed to my thigh,
where his index fingers soon started tracing small circles.
i laughed at how light my spirits felt again.
"you remember."
"of course i do. highlight of my summer right there."
he pulled me into his chest,
where i would lay for the remainder of the day.
we talked and laughed with one another,
kissed each other numb,
and when the night rolled and moved our bodies to his bedroom,
he pulled me to his warming body and said,
"thank god for hot tub conversations, huh?"
i giggled and let him place a kiss to my neck before i said,
"yeah, thank god."