outerbanks imagines.

innocent-pope

"there is an innocence i miss having."

y/n wrote slowly in her journal,
allowing for her thoughts to curate before she continued on with her rant.

"i miss lying in the sun, knowing that this warmth could never be found in any other place.
i miss staring at the stars, oblivious to the science behind it.
just admiring the shiny diamonds the sky created.
i miss that the childhood friends that my soul brushed against to later create a perfect mosaic of who i am now.
i think i could go on about all that i miss.
where did i go wrong?
i can't quite remember what decision i made that changed this trajectory of my life,
plummeting it further and further down.
i just want to fingerpaint without frustrations of perfection.
i want to love wholeheartedly without fear of rejection or hurt again."

y/n's hand was beginning to cramp from the flow of thoughts running rampant to her pencil.
when the lead snapped,
y/n flinched and realized she'd been completely sucked into thought.
she sighed while waiting for her hand to relax.
the thoughts and memories were coming at a tenfold now,
thrashing around in her brain to quickly deafen herself.

"there are so many things i wish to say,
but not enough lines in this book or enough words in this language to explain myself."

"y/n?"
she heard the closing of a door following the deep, echoing voice.
y/n hurried to shove her journal back into its designated hiding place before replying,
"pope?"
"yeah, it's me! the door was unlocked."
"oh, yeah, sure. just come on in even when the doors unlocked,"
y/n mumbled beneath her breath as she gathered herself together.
even though her heart was racing from the sudden surprise in company,
she knew she could never be mad at pope for coming to see her.
it would always be his company that she sought for.
"hey,"
he greeted with a wide smile,
leaning himself against her doorframe.
"hey back."
"what are you doing?"
y/n created a tiny white lie and lifted the book that was resting again her pillow.
"reading."
"nice. what's the book about?"
he asked while now resting himself on her bed,
lying on his side to face her.
she couldn't quite tell him;
she'd never read the book,
after all.
so she shrugged and waved her hand in the air to dismiss the question.
"nothing you'll find interesting. what are you up to?"
pope shrugged his shoulders.
"i don't know. just got the sudden urge to see you."
y/n smiled at this and gave his shoulder a playful punch.
"pope misses me?"
she taunted with her voice an octave higher than usual.
pope laughed along with her then rolled his eyes.
"don't start,"
he said with a wide smile that made her heart swell.
"tell me what's up."
y/n raised an eyebrow then stammered,
"uh, i-i don't know. nothings up. what do you mean?"
"you can't lie to me. did you forget?"
he poked at her knee jokingly.
after years of friendship with pope,
she thought she'd be used to his all knowing senses by now.
yet every time,
it seemed to surprise her even more.
at this realization that she no longer needed to keep up her facade,
tears welled in her eyes.
pope quickly sat up at this reaction and held one of y/n's hand into both of his.
"talk to me."
y/n nodded and waited for the knot in her throat to lessen before she could speak.
when it finally went down,
she said,
"everything went so wrong out of nowhere, pope."
"what do you mean?"
"i just...one day i realized i was everything i promised i would never become. half the island thinks i'm a-a whore, i've indulged myself in horrible things i never should have touched, i've ruined myself,"
y/n admitted in a moment of vulnerability.
pope pulled her into his chest quickly,
letting her sobs become muffled by his embrace.
her tears stained his shirt,
the dampness beginning to seep through and brush his skin,
though he didn't mind in the slightest.
whatever was necessary to soothe y/n,
he would do.
when she was quieting down,
her cries lessening her hurt,
pope couldn't help but to kiss the top of her head.
"for what it's worth, y/n, you're still that same y/n from before. you've just gained experience about life and realized not everything is as nice as it once was. but you still find the beauty in life, you're still fascinated by the things you don't understand, you're still full of divinity, you still lead with your heart. i could go on for hours about you, y/n, truly. and if i didn't think you'd be annoyed with me by then, i'd absolutely do it. but the truth is: you're still an innocent."
y/n hadn't realized it until the room fell silent;
she had become so focused on his words that her breathing had evened out and her shaking ceased.
and when she relaxed into pope's arms,
she then heard the symphony of their beating hearts.
"you still think i'm innocent?"
she asked in a voice of disbelief.
surely he couldn't.
y/n had done everything that made her quite the opposite.
but pope had never been one to lie for her pride.
pope's hand trailed up and down her back to keep her calm while he spoke,
"absolutely. i know you think that the things you've done make you irreverent, or whatever, but those are the trivial things of life, things all people will do someday. you...you like to believe the stars shine on their own, that the sun goes down to let the moon, it's lover, breathe for the night. you'll spend hours hovered over the baby sea turtles to ensure they reach the water. you'll rehabilitate an injured bird. like i said, i could go for hours..."
y/n nestled her head to pope's chest and nodded.
if he could see her as someone of integrity and worthy of love,
then she could believe it too.
she was innocent in all that mattered;
innocent in loving the life around her.
"best thing of all? you're a hard lover. i admire that more than anything,"
pope admitted with a hint of confession in his tone.
she picked her head up and looked to the boy,
who was overcome with enamor at her smile.
even as it was met at her swollen eyes,
reddened from crying.
pope wiped away her remaining tears away with the sleeve of his shirt and placed a soft kiss to the tip of her nose.
"pope?"
"y/n?"
"i love you. i always have."
pope basked in the ringing of the words.
how euphoric it felt to be on the receiving end after all this time.
neither of them doubted this moment unfolding before them,
it had been a long time coming.
pope smoothed his thumb over her cheekbone,
entranced by her ravishing eyes,
then said,
"i love you, too. i always will."