double take ೃ⁀➷ jaywon

everything is falling all of it's crashing know it's because of me

falling
♪day6♪

a day had passed since the rose sunset with jay at the beach and yet jungwon wouldn't stop thinking about the older's beautiful eyes looking at him when he tucked the pretty scarlet rose behind his ear.
even as they roomed and talked those two days, jungwon still felt distant.

"you know, daeun, she's also so good cooking stuff like that cheese tteokbokki and the japchae type of stuff but recently i was at her house and she cooked hamburgers for our second month anniversary and they were so good" of course jay would be whipped for someone so amazing at cooking. jungwon's thoughts lingered on what he'd do if he and jay ever got together for their anniversary.
"jungwon?"

"oh yeah? that sounds nice, she sounds perfect" he said as he rested his head on his palm trying to appear like he was interested in any daeun related talk.

"are you okay?" jay asked blowing jungwon's cover.

"yup, just dandy"

"since when do you say dandy?" jay was overwhelmed by confusion over jungwon's vocab and actions.

"since summer started but you wouldn't have noticed because you're too busy with your sweet daeun" he said dropping the honorifics towards daeun.

"jungwon, why are you so annoyed? what's wrong?"

"nothing, everything's just fine... you know i have to go" he stood from the table and walked towards their room as he changed and went to the beach.
maybe sunoo was right, the beach is a perfect place to sullen over a crush.

✧✦✧

he spent 2 hours at the beach alone. he watched the sea as he listened to music on his earbuds. the amount of times good 4 u by olivia rodrigo played was enough to make jungwon feel just a bit better.

he strayed away from listening to any rock songs (apart from olivia rodrigo's punk-rock songs) because it reminded him of jay. he felt annoyed at himself for being at mad at jay over something he couldn't control.

"how are you?" he heard a voice call to him. he pretended to not hear until saw from the corner of his eye, him sitting next to him.

"i dont feel like talking" he told him. he held his knees closer to his chest, something he did frequently under stress.

"jungwon, we wont be able to fix anything this way"

"itll fix itself, jay hyung"

"no, it wont. just tell me what's wrong and we can figure it out together and fix-"

"Fine! I'm fucking in love with YOU and it hurts so much that i cant be with you and it hurts living with and being around you! Are you happy?" he stood up and dusted his blue basketball shorts off before leaving the beach with a bewildered jay left to think.

tears flooded his eyes like never before and he ran to sunoo and niki. his two best friends. he always third wheeled but it was okay because it was them. each came to him when they needed comfort and he comforted them like the best friend he was. now it was his turn to be comforted.

"it all came crashing down... help me" he cried out to them .

"hyung... what's wrong?" niki took him into an embrace as he opened the door and sunoo patted his back. he knew not to get jealous over his friend, they were all friends.

"i just... i couldn't take it anymore and i confessed but not how i wanted and i think i scared him off and- and- and i cant stop myself from hurting" he said when he finally let go as niki sat him on the edge of the bed before both niki and sunoo sat beside him.

"jungwon, calm down... it's okay" sunoo rubbed his back as he hugged the younger tightly.

"but-"

"hyung... sometimes keeping things to ourselves is what is bad and not that we let it out even if it was in a way we didn't want to" niki tried his best to comfort his hyung

"what if he hates my guts and never speaks to me because im a fag and-"

"jungwonie! he will never hate you unless you of course do something wayyyy outta pocket but point is he will never hate you! also do not insult yourself like that because you had just come to accept that you may not be straight and all that went downhill because of some guy!?"

"hyung... i cant take it"

"just sleep it off with us-"

"he's not gonna wanna do that right now, hyung!!" niki said holding back laughter.

"ugh get your head out the gutter, idiot. jungwon just sleep in our room and then you can figure it out, okay?" jungwon nodded as he sniffled.

✦✧✦

although jungwon felt better the next day, he didn't feel good. he felt broken.

broken.

empty.

lonely.

he was surrounded by 6 lovely and caring boys but in the end he was broken. he believed he broke himself and put himself in this spot.

"jungwon-" jay tried calling out to him again just to be let down when he saw him with a set of earbuds on to the full max. it was set for them to stay a week and so jungwon would suffer having to see jay who now knew his dirty little secret and avoiding him.

he stayed away from the beach to avoid crying over his breakdown. finally after two dsys of sleeping with sunoo and niki he thought it was time to leave the two on their own knowing that it was almost their anniversary.

since sunoo and niki had gone to the beach to relax, jungwon grabbed the few things he had brought to their room and entered the empty room he shared with jay. he placed his things where they had previously been and sat on the bed looking around.

jungwon felt his heart sink lower and lower as he saw the polaroids jay had brought with him of daeun. could he not spend ONE week just without a thought or picture of her? he wanted to cry but soon it wasn't because of daeun having jay's heart but because jay stood before him.

"we need to talk"

___________
Hey yall, im finally back to posting on schedule. haha. im confessing to my crush today so like wish me luck ig(?). i just want to get it over with and also bc my intuition is telling me to and my intuition has been real good these days. also i didn't sleep the 7 hours i need of sleep so im super sleepy which fucking sucks but i guess.