[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[23.] Conversations.

After breakfast was officially over and the servants came to clean up the room, Hanguang-Jun and Lan Sizhui retreated to the Music Room, as the young man declared he miserably missed his practice with the guqin.  Wei Ying smiled faintly; he knew he just wanted to talk to his father alone. He didn't mind, he knew that they needed time for just themselves. 

So he now was left with Miao Lu, who, it seemed, wanted nothing more than to run away. He beckoned her to sit closer, and smiled at her.

- Finally, peace. Tell me, girl, how are you? Really?

- I am fine, Master, truly. All is happening... maybe too fast, but I am getting used to it.

- Ah. – he huffed. – I was worried for you after your round with Lan Zhan. He can be... a bit out of control sometimes.

She blushed, but said nothing.

- You know, I would be glad if the child is his. I have always craved to be able to hold his child, a miniature copy of him. This will be the greatest happiness for me. – he said, his face beaming.

- May the Gods grant your wish, Master. I only wish to make you happy. – she bowed, embarrassed.

- You don't like him very much, do you? – he laughed. – Hmm, he is hard to love, I know. There was a time when it felt that I was the only one loving him. I thank the Heavens every day for A-Yuan; if it wasn't for him, he both would be very different men today. – he said thoughtfully. – I died, and Hanguang-Jun went nearly mad. It was a dark time, girl.

She bowed respectfully, wondering why her Master was sharing all this with her.

- This child is very important to us. Always has been. I want you to know this. What we are doing right now is not some sort of... I don't know, perversion, or a whim, satisfying a stupid wish. We are both struggling. And I see it is hard on you too. But no one will be more loved than him, I promise you this. I hope A-Yuan understands too. How do you like my son, by the way, hm? – he grinned.

- The Young Master Lan is exceptional, Master. I expected nothing less. He is yours, after all. – she smiled at him and bowed again respectfully.

- Too true. We raised him well. I hope to get him married soon, he deserves a kind and good-hearted partner more than anyone. – he sighed. – I don't want him to be lonely, as we were...for so long. Too long... - his mind wandered back to the worst years of his life.

He felt a warm hand on his own, and looked up at her, surprised.

- Master, don't be sad. The past is gone, and we can't go back. What matters is the future, and the future belongs to the children, always. They are our hope.

- Well spoken, Flower girl. – he said gently and kissed her hand. – Go, have some rest. Leave me to think.

**

- Father, are you sure about this?

Lan Sizhui had interrupted the guqin  practice and was looking up at Hanguang-Jun worried.

- I am. – Lan Zhan said firmly.

- Why? – the young man asked simply.

- Because it is important for your father. It is important to the both of us. For our... relationship. It is very important to me that he is happy.

- I see. - Lan Sizhui said thoughtfully. – I was just wondering... isn't it hard to do? I know how jealous and possessive you are of him... - he blushed slightly.

- It is excruciating. Wei Ying pretends all is well, but I see him, he breaks down almost every night. Be careful with him, he is quite fragile right now.

There was a silence. It pained Lan Sizhui to hear all this, he hated it when his parents suffered – they had already suffered so much in the past.

- Dad, and what about her? She seems kind, but still... You don't know her, she is just a stranger. – he frowned.

- Mmmm. Wei Ying trusts her. I have also spoken to Bai Li and she is watching her closely too. I will never allow anything to hurt your father. – Lan Wangji's face went dark.

- You know... I always wonder. I have never met people like the two of you. I know people who are in love, but they don't behave like you. You two are...closer, somehow. And you are always together, inseparable. It must be hard. A love like that must hurt. – he sighed.

- It does.

There was no emotion on Lan Zhan's face, but his heart was weeping; all the suffering he went through, all the pain and death Wei Wuxian went through – it broke them. He was glad A-Yuan did not know all of it, it was unbearable to even think about.

He started playing again, and lost in the melody, closed his eyes. The tune must have had the same effect on his son, because, after a while, he felt his warm embrace around his shoulders, and the words "I love you, Dad."

Lan Sizhui was crying.