[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[42.] Resent./Resist.

 

Wei Ying was still sulking when he entered the hall at dinner time. He was the last one to arrive, and until the last moment Lan Wangji was ready to bet he would not come in at all – it was pretty pointless often too, Wei Ying barely ate lately. He was sitting at the head of the table, having invited Bai Li, Miao Lu and A-Yuan for a "family dinner" before the General's departure the next day. He was hoping to have a quiet evening, without drama.

Wei Wuxian sat down heavily, wincing and momentarily regretting it as he was aching in many different places, again at the opposite end of the table. Everyone in the room fell silent. Lan Sizhui was slightly smiling, though, his parents were acting just like children sometimes, Bai Li was right.

Hanguang-Jun was dispassionately observing how both his son and husband were too polite and careful when talking to Miao Lu – the one was doing it naturally, the other – to spite him. He didn't mind. The girl was extremely embarrassed and desperately wanted to leave. The housekeeper was secretly sniggering, and enjoying the performance - Bai Li was not stupid. At all. His face remained calm; he did not want any part in this theater play. It was unimportant.

Nevertheless, his brain was working fast while he was dining and observing how things might or might not escalate. There was one question that did not leave his mind; it was the question he also asked Wei Wuxian that same afternoon. That day had been wonderful, but also awful. Wei Ying had been, inexplicably, in heat lately, and – behaving like he did – he himself was always tempted to follow. 

And he did. 

His was a valid question too – how many times did they make love that day? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? None of them counted. But both were bruised and aching, and they would not let each other rest, heal – the desire and passion were almost...forced. 

Lan Wangji tried to remember when this all had started.

At first, he thought it was all a reaction to the appearance of Miao Lu in their home. They both needed to show, to prove to each other how much they loved and wanted each other. Not that anyone would doubt it, they just needed  to show it.

 He loved it, what they had – the intimacy, the games, the different things they were trying out lately. But today was too much. He could expect it from Wei Ying, but what about him? He liked to consider himself level-headed. Reasonable. 

What was happening to him?

The more he thought about it, the more he believed it all had started that strange night when he had to lay with Miao Lu and they let go of their cultivation magic.

 Ever since that night, it had been intense, exhausting, intoxicating, reminding him of their first days together. They were painfully yearning for each other, almost as if... what was the word Wei Ying had used today? Yes, "bewitched". Lan Zhan frowned. His eyes did not see. His mind was moving back in retrospect. 

What provoked and enhanced the cultivation? His own? His husband's?

They both were connected. Had always been. Their hearts often beat as one. Their feelings were one. 

Desires. 

The core.

He wished he could consult with his brother. Or his uncle. He was the one responsible for such matters now – this question was for him, he was the Chief Cultivator now.

Suddenly, he realized that the room was all silent – there probably had been a question directed at him, but he never caught it. Unimportant. He looked up with resolution and said:

- Bai Li, prepare the Guest Room for me. Your Master will rest in the master bedroom tonight. I expect a hot bath and fresh tea served in both rooms as soon as possible. Leave.

The housekeeper immediately bowed deeply to both her masters and left – she knew that tone.

- What's wrong, Dad? - Lan Sizhui asked quietly, worried now.

- All is fine, my love. I need to meditate tonight. Both you and your father need rest. I suggest you turn in early tonight.

At those words, both Lan Sizhui and Miao Lu bowed without any further comment and left the room too. It was once again just the two of them left in the dead silence of the late evening. Lan Wangji waited. He knew it was coming – the painful question.

- Is it me?

- No, Wei Ying. I need time to think.

- Do you still love me?

- I do. Very much. I love you more than myself.

Wei Wuxian nodded sadly, and left the room too.

Lan Zhan's heart was aching. 

It had to be done.