[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[124.] Chambers. [TW]

***

Bai Li came in the next morning to wake Wei Wuxian up for breakfast and clean the room. Hanguang-Jun had explicitly asked her to change the linen and draw a bath for her Master.

- Good morning, Wei Qianbei!  –  she bowed, pouring the water in the bath.  –  Breakfast is ready, Master. Do you prefer it served here?

- Please, Bai Li, leave me.  –  Wei Ying said weakly.

- But Master, Hanguang-Jun---   -  she started.

- Take some of my clothes and bring them to the Mistress's chamber. I will spend the next few days with my son.  –  he growled.  –  Now leave.

She obeyed and bowed without commenting.

**

Wei Wuxian was shivering as he had to stand next to Lan Wangji to see their brothers off. They did not touch, they didn't even look at each other. Both were smiling politely, wishing the newly engaged all the happiness in the world, but Lan Zhan was as pale as death, and Wei Ying's smile was as fake as it could get. 

Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow and huffed, but did not comment. Lan Xichen looked so lost in his happiness that he didn't notice anything at all  –  his eyes only saw his beloved. It was awfully clear that they could not wait to be alone together again.

As soon as they were gone, Wei Ying went straight into Miao Lu's room without saying a word. Lan Wangji's heart sank; Bai Li had informed him about Master Wei's decision, but he was hoping, until the very end, that he would change his mind. 

Now, this was his punishment.

**

Wei Wuxian spent the next two days lying in bed, sobbing inconsolably in Miao Lu's lap, kissing and hugging her belly. Naturally, he felt extremely weak – he could barely walk, and he refused to eat, which got both Bai Li and the Mistress very worried.

- Mistress, you must talk to him! He is too stubborn to listen to me!  –  Bai Li frowned.

- But Li-jie, I am just a servant... like you.  –  she blushed.  –  How would the Master ever listen to me...?

- Well, he'd better! Hanguang-Jun is even worse off! I don't know what has gotten into them this time!  –  she scoffed.  – They behave like children! Master Lan has been meditating in the garden for the last two days! In the cold, and the rain, without food! Children!

- Oh, Gods!  –  Miao Lu exclaimed.

**

- Master, you must eat.  –  Miao Lu was begging.  –  Please... Please, for the baby... Please, Master...

Wei Wuxian shook his head sadly.

- I can't, Flower girl. My stomach is in a ball. I can't bear even the thought...

- You miss him, don't you, Master...  -  she murmured, expecting scolding.

- I always do, Mistress.  –  he answered without looking at her.

- Master, Hanguang-Jun is suffering too... -  she said sadly.  –  Why don't you two talk? I am sure it is not so bad...

- No. No more talking. I have talked and said enough.  –  he growled.

- Master, you need energy. The baby needs to grow healthy and strong... Please...  -  she was hugging her belly gently, her eyes brimming with tears.

Wei Ying looked at the food, hesitating. His words to his lover were too true  –  he could not eat without him, he could not sleep without him... 

Nothing worked. 

No one else could replace him. 

He was utterly exhausted, almost given up.

Miao Lu saw his hesitation, and ventured:

- Can I perhaps help? I could...  -  she remembered how Hanguang-Jun was feeding Master Wei when he was too weak in the past.

She took a small bite and took it to his lips carefully. He was observing her, amazed. This timid girl had definitely changed. He smiled and opened his mouth, letting her give him small bits of food and serve him tea and wine. It was a calm and quiet life right now, with this young girl. He almost regretted not having any interest nor feelings for her – he was in a desperate need of some peace.

***

At one point she ventured, blushing:

- Would you like to tell me what the problem is, Master? Maybe I could help... I would love nothing more than to help... I know how much Hanguang-Jun loves you...

He frowned and fell silent for the longest time. But as he needed to talk to someone, and practically Lan Zhan was his best and closest friend, he finally sighed and poured his heart out. She was nodding, listening carefully. 

He was weeping again as the story went on, and finally lay his head on her lap again, placing his palm on her belly  –  this seemed to be the only thing to calm him down. Her heart was breaking to see him like this, and she was finally bold enough to caress his hair gently.

- Master, I understand... -  she murmured.  – But this is what married life is.

He looked up at her incredulously. 

She nodded sadly and went on:

- This is daily life for many women, Master. Master Lan is always so careful and gentle with you, but you don't really know how things are out there. This is why I feel so lucky and so blessed. I have never been married, but I am a woman, and I have seen, I know how things are...  -  she said mournfully.

Wei Ying sat up now, looking at her intently.

- Many husbands would never ask you what you want, or need... They would just come to you and take what they need from you, having their way with you... It is rare that a husband would care if it is day or night... whether it is your time of the month even... They would take and take, not caring... Most husbands would treat their wives worse than you treat your servants, Master...

- But this...  -  Wei Wuxian gasped, amazed.  –  But this is rape!  –  he exclaimed, outraged now.

- Perhaps.  –  she nodded.  –  But once you are married, you become the property of your husband. He can do anything with you. Beat you, exploit you, humiliate you, violate you... This is life.

He was gaping. It all sounded too awful to be true.

- Too often I have seen women seek out quack doctors to get them rid of their babies for a few coins... Babies that were conceived that way... It is such a pain to be a woman, Master... You suffer every day...

- Miao Lu!  –  he exclaimed, terrified. It sounded like a horror story to him.

She lowered her eyes, and the silent tears flowed down her cheeks.

- Please, go and talk to him, Master. The baby will start kicking soon... And I want you both to enjoy this. You both will need your strength for what's coming ahead, Master. Please.

He was touched. 

Why was this young girl so wise? He realized how lucky he was, him and Lan Wangji, to have found this girl. Maybe it was Bai Li's talent for managing. 

Or maybe it was Fate. She would be the mother of the great Lao-Tzu too, after all. 

He smiled.

- Thank you, Miao Lu.  –  he said and leaned in to kiss her cheek gently.