[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[78.] Forgive me.

Note:

I have never before thought about the different rooms at Cloud Recesses, but after reading  some Wattpad fanfics, I kinda thought I might include some detail in my story too. 

If you are interested, here is a link with details and descriptions:

https://modao-zushi.fandom.com/wiki/Cloud_Recesses 

***

- Can you... Could you ever forgive me... Lan Zhan... - Wei Ying could not stop crying, caressing Hanguang-Jun's chest.

- Calm down, my heart. Please. I asked you to. – Lan Zhan was cooing, trapping him in a tight embrace.

- Hanguang-Jun... - Wei Wuxian was drowning in sobs, his face hidden in the soft skin that was now all beaten and bruised.

As the sun was almost setting, there came a delicate knock on the door, and Bai Li said, not daring enter the master bedroom:

- Hanguang-Jun, dinner?

- Come in, Bai Li. – Lan Zhan's strong voice echoed in the whole room. – It's open.

The housekeeper entered carefully and gasped, but said nothing. The room was splattered in blood; her Masters were in bed, and the sheets were also covered in blood. Blood was smeared all over Hanguang-Jun's face, and she only saw that Master Wei was burying his face in his chest, sobbing heartbreakingly. She bowed, a little scared.

- Bai Li, please prepare the Hanshi  for tonight. Serve dinner there, we will dine alone. I want this room scrubbed pristinely clean by tomorrow. By you. – he frowned. - Do whatever it takes for the Frost Room to be warm enough for your Master. – he said matter-of-factly.

She bowed low.

- The Mistress can dine in her chamber, or with Wen Ning, it is up to her. But I want to see her briefly before dinner, let her maid take care of that.

He hummed.

- Now, prepare a bath here for us. I want you to do it, no need for anyone else to come in here. – he frowned.

- It shall be done, Master. – she said faintly.

- Also, no one touches the books. I will personally take care of those. The Library Room is off bounds to anyone, apart from your Master and myself, from today on. Is it clear?

- Very, Hanguang-Jun. – she bowed again. – Is that all?

- Yes. Go.

**

The hot bath eased the pain, and Wei Wuxian knew that very soon all marks and wounds will be gone, but it still made his heart bleed to watch Lan Wangji in such a pitiful state. He had never before seen things from his point of view – because, he realized, almost daily - it was him who looked like this. No wonder Lan Zhan broke down so badly – it was painful to even look at.

- We need to switch more often, my love... - he murmured thoughtfully.

- Mm?

- It gives me... perspective. Hanguang-Jun is wise. – he said lovingly.

Lan Wangji was relaxing in the bath, exhausted, the day had taken its toll on him, psychologically. Wei Wuxian was leaning into him yet again, but every time any one of them stirred, he would shiver slightly, afraid that he was hurting him again. 

Today had been quite traumatic for Wei Ying. Lan Zhan wondered to what extent it was also his fault. He shook his head sadly – it was entirely  his fault; he had initiated it all.

- I am sorry. – he murmured.

Wei Ying turned and looked up at him, perplexed.

- Mmm?

- It is all my fault, Wei Ying... I shouldn't have... teased you... so much... I never wanted to make you upset.

- My heart... Please, no... - Wei Ying replied sadly.

- My pleasure and yours are different, it seems. – he frowned. – I had never thought about this.

In a moment he added:

- You are right. We should switch more often.

Wei Ying took his hand and brought it to his maimed lips, and kissed lightly over the wound that he had made into those delicate fingers. 

He brought the loved fingers to his chest, letting Lan Zhan's palm rest over his heart, and murmured:

- You will never know how much I love you... You can never know... And sometimes I really wish you could, my love.

Lan Wangji smiled and, cupping his face, brought it to his, and kissed him, ignoring the pain.

- I know. Half my soul lives in you, Wei Ying. – he whispered.

Wei Wuxian hugged him, cuddling in him until the water grew too cold to stay in. They helped each other into comfortable clothes and sat by the fire to let all wet hair dry.

- I won't let Miao Lu stay for more than a couple of minutes. You do need to rest, Wei Ying... - Lan Wangji mumbled unhappily.

- I understand. – he answered, seeing the logic and wisdom in his husband's words. He had behaved like a brat today, even though Lan Zhan had only had his best interest at heart. – Forgive me, my heart... - he said for the hundredth time today.

- Wei Ying... My sweetheart... Please, no... - he drew him in again and hugged him.

They stayed like this, warm and motionless, until Bai Li came to tell them that the Hanshi  was awaiting, and dinner was served there. Miao Lu was also waiting for them there.

Lan Wangji stood up and took some warm clothes to wrap Wei Ying in, although the distance between the two rooms was not too big. He helped him up, and wrapped his shoulders gently, taking him in his arms again, and carrying him out of the room, as if he was a little child. Wei Wuxian's first instinct was to protest, of course. 

Today Lan Zhan was the one who was hurting... But then he remembered Bai Li's warm words  –  "He carries you in his arms as if you are his bride... such a thoughtful and caring husband..."

He bit his lip and wondered how many times his words actually hurt Lan Wangji deeper than any cut, and bruise, any wound. 

He rested his head on his chest, and whispered weakly:

- I love you very much, husband.