[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[82.] Vespertine.

Miao Lu had spent a curious day. She had had lunch with her Masters, and in the afternoon Master Wei had stayed with her, in her chamber this time, as Master Lan had to catch up on classes. 

They were very quiet during lunch, staring at each other, flushed, and looked so happy to be together that she felt almost embarrassed to be there. There was such palpable tenderness between the two, something beyond love, a bond that was unmistakable, and also unbreakable. Master Wen did not comment, or react in any way, but she guessed he was used to this.

She had spent quite a lot of time with her Master Wen – his presence really always calmed her down, and she felt physically safer while he was around. Sue Lin had been telling her scary stories about him, the battles he had been in, the people he had killed back then, but as she listened, she rather focused on how strong he really was. 

Just like her Master Wei, he was hiding deep and terrible powers. He was always very composed, and very kind, no matter the situation, and she could clearly see that he was genuinely worried for Wei Wuxian. Whenever her Master Wei's face would express anything but content – he would frown and start, as if eager to save him, eager to catch him, if he fell. 

This was a love she didn't quite understand, she had never had anything like that in her life.

He had made her laugh, as he arrived for lunch dripping wet, coming back from patrols in the wooded area, and as they waited for the Masters to join them, he was quite alright to wait in a puddle of rainwater. She had reminded him about a change of clothes, and he had looked at her in utter surprise, as he had none. 

She laughed and asked Bai Li for a change of clothes for him, but also her heart sank as she realized that – most probably – he was living all alone, and there was no one to really take care of him. Her Master Wei had told her before that he preferred seclusion, and he didn't need much on a daily basis, but that sounded rather lonely.

So, at lunch, Master Wei and Master Wen had been wearing matching clothes, to the utter embarrassment of Bai Li, and the unbridled entertainment of Wei Wuxian. Master Wei then spent the afternoon in her room, resting his head on her lap and caressing her belly gently, murmuring all the time how impatient he was for his son to arrive, how loved he was, how awaited. She was blushing, melting in all that tenderness, not daring to even touch him, but craving to. It was an instinct that was stronger than her. 

She was happy to see him looking so healthy, but as the day progressed he grew tired and paler, but stayed. She didn't know what it was, but she felt that this was a pattern, as it happened every time. 

Something about her was leaving him weak.

She dared not ask, but she secretly decided rather to talk with her Master Wen about it. He would certainly know. She looked through the window as her Master Wei left to get ready for dinner, and she gasped as she saw him almost collapse in the arms of his husband. Lan Wangji was frowning, a deeper frown than usual. 

She wondered what it meant. 

Was this the reason why her Masters were leaving soon? Was it her?

**

- My beautiful husband...

- Wei Ying...

When Miao Lu entered the big hall for dinner, it all looked too familiar. Wei Wuxian was wrapped in his husband's robe, leaning into him, his head reclining against his chest. Hanguang-Jun had his hand on his waist, or rather on his belly, holding him close. Both their faces were quite expressionless, unless they were looking at each other.

Wen Ning was sitting to the side, but as she entered he bowed a little, and she thought she saw some hesitation in him whether to stand up and help her. She blushed.

- How are you feeling today, Mistress?  –  Lan Wangji asked sternly.

- I am fine, Master. Li-jie calculated that this is my 4th month now, so... I will start to show soon.  –  she said gently, flushed.

He nodded.

- We will be travelling in 10 days, but I have arranged for a physician to come visit this week. Bear it in mind.

- Yes, Master. Thank you, Master, I am grateful.  –  she bowed.

- Your Master Wen will be travelling with us, but you won't be alone for more than a couple of days. He will return here very soon after. I have made arrangements. Still, if anything goes wrong, you must dispatch a letter immediately to the Yunmeng Jiang Clan. I am counting on your sense, Mistress.  –  he said sternly.

Wen Ning nodded too.

- Of course, Master.  –  she said.

She knew too well that he couldn't care about her less, but if anything was to happen to his husband's child, he would tear her to pieces without hesitation.

- Please, LuLu, please, eat.  –  Wei Ying smiled faintly.

The rest of the evening was quite silent, as each was focused on their own thoughts. Wei Ying ate too little, but he would always open his mouth whenever his husband asked him to. No one spoke about her last dream, so she started thinking that maybe it wasn't that important. 

The Masters retired quite early, and she was left alone with her Master Wen.

- Master...  –  she ventured.  –  Why is Wei Qianbei so sick today? I have been wondering... He looked quite alright earlier today.

- Hmmm.  –  he hesitated.

She waited. Maybe she was not allowed to know. Maybe it was a thing only her Masters were supposed to know. 

Some time passed in silence, but finally he said:

- It's the bond. It exhausts him.

She gaped. So she had been right then. 

She murmured:

- I am so sorry. It's my fault.

He looked at her sternly, grumbling:

- No, not really. Wei Gongzi carries two bonds, you see. One is to his husband, and one to his child. One is giving him energy, the other is draining him from energy. So he is trying to find balance.

She stared at him with wide open eyes. It all sounded like a fairy-tale.

- I understand.  –  she whispered.  –  Still, it pains me to see him so weak.

- He always sacrifices too much of himself. This hasn't changed through the years. It's the way he is.  –  he looked away, but there was great sadness in his voice.

- I understand. – she repeated, falling silent now.

They parted in silence, retiring for the night, but her heart was heavy. 

She thought about this new information, and she felt that she understood Hanguang-Jun a little better now.