[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[52.] Touch. 🔞

Hanguang-Jun cancelled classes that day and just gave instructions to the disciples to help in the kitchen with the cooking or with collecting wood, as the nights were quite cold already. In wintertime there was a lot more to be done around the house. He also believed that training in pairs or doing research in the Library was enough. 

He could not be bothered with supervising today. He could not focus on it at all.

Bai Li was observing him carefully from a distance, frowning a little, her arms crossed on her chest. She was not sure what her Masters were going through, but she knew it was serious. She rarely saw Wei Wuxian these days; everything somehow went downhill at his birthday. She blamed the Moon. 

Now she watched her Master Lan go back into the bedroom, and she knew he locked the door on the inside too. Annoyed, she asked herself why she even worried about her Masters' meals any more – they barely ate. Something had to change. She hoped with all her heart that Miao Lu was pregnant. This child was that something - both her Masters needed it desperately, and deeply hoped for it too.

Lan Wangji entered the master bedroom quietly. It was not even lunchtime, but he felt exhausted. Wei Ying was lying in the bed absolutely motionless, as if dead. He took off most of his clothes and his shoes and joined him, doing his best not to wake him up, moving close to him, almost afraid to touch him, to kiss him. He watched his back, the dark mass of free-falling hair, listened to his even breathing. His heart was breaking – he looked so fragile. He knew that, now that the talisman was gone, he would be weaker and would need more rest. He missed him.

- I have missed you, Hanguang-Jun. - Wei Ying murmured, once again hearing his thoughts.

- Please, rest, my love. – Lan Zhan said sadly. – I also feel tired today,  let's just rest.

He reached out and almost touched his hair, but withdrew his hand quickly as Wei Ying suddenly turned around to face him. Lan Wangji was flushed, his eyes were burning as if he was the one to have fever. His mind could not let go of what had happened at breakfast. He swallowed hard.

- What is it now? You won't touch me ever again?

Wei Wuxian was looking at him absolutely seriously.

- I really want to. But I dare not.... It seems... every time I touch you I...  bring you pain. – he muttered, his voice was breaking with the full realization of those words.

- Well then, perhaps I can be the one to touch you?

Lan Zhan dared not blink; his breathing hitched and he let Wei Ying get on top of him. He was lying very still, giving in, giving himself away.

- Always. – he whispered.

- Lan Zhan....

Wei Ying's fingers were caressing his lips, and as he closed his eyes – he felt light fingertips caress the eyelids too.

- Lan Zhan, I have thought a lot about it... I am going to take that jealousy of yours...

Lan Wangji dared not look up, so he kept his eyes shut, but he felt two warm palms open his robe slightly. He could not help but shiver – not so much with the chill, but the touch of those fingertips – the fingertips he adored kissing. He gasped and his lips parted.

- I have decided to take it as... a compliment. No one has ever cared so much for me... No one.

Nimble fingers were caressing his chest, lingering, drawing circles around his nipples, then taking a turn and undoing his belt, opening his robe fully up.

- I am so tired of worrying... so tired... I cannot worry any more... All I can do is prove to you....

The gentle fingers caressed his belly, but then he felt them dig into his hips, pinning him to the bed hard. He dared not move anyway, but Wei Ying obviously wanted to make a point:

- Prove to you...every day... that I love you... and that I want you... I want you....desperately... I want you so much that it hurts... It hurts....

The gentle fingers dug deeper, breaking the skin, drawing blood. Lan Zhan bit his lip, terribly aroused, and let out a deep sigh.

- It hurts...so much...so much... That deep black hole...deep inside me.... It hurts... It hurts to be empty, Hanguang-Jun... It hurts...not to be touched by you.... It hurts...to be without you...

Wei Wuxian's voice trailed, as if he was in a trance. Lan Wangji opened his eyes, finally ready to face him, feeling him aroused on top of him, touching him in the best and worst ways possible. He panted heavily, opening his mouth more as Wei Ying's gentle fingers now pulled his pants down and caressed his thighs.