[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

[126.] Outlook.

Note:

***

The winter months went by, and it was the same old. The construction of the pavilion at the far end of the gardens was started and finished swiftly, and Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian kept to the habit of spending half the time there, and half  –  with Miao Lu. Bai Li was satisfied, as now her days (and nights) got into a routine, and she had peace and clarity.

Wei Ying was feeling worse and worse, physically, but mentally he got obsessed with the thought of spending as much time with the baby as was humanly possible. So much so, that he shyly asked Lan Wangji for permission Miao Lu to spend the nights with them, in the master bedroom, too sure that he would reject the idea, worried for his health. And perhaps he was, but Hanguang-Jun surprised him by consenting. 

As the months progressed, the Mistress's belly grew, and the baby started kicking, quite vigorously so. The physician that visited them in early spring said that everything was perfectly fine, and congratulated Hanguang-Jun and Miao Lu heartily, thinking they were the happy parents, which made her blush severely while Wei Wuxian was sulking to the side.

So now time passed mindlessly, flying by swiftly, as both men would spend their time whispering loving words to each other, caressing the baby bump, impatient to welcome their new son. 

Miao Lu was melting  –  the days and nights were full of tenderness and care, any food her heart desired, naps and music. Hanguang-Jun was careful and soft, more than she had ever seen him be, and Wei Wuxian talked to the baby as if it was really there with them in the room. 

She thought that it would be awkward to sleep between them in the big bed, but both Masters had changed since she last did  –  both were very careful with her, spoiling her in any and all ways. She was telling herself that she could get too used to this kind of life, but then had to remind herself that it was not her life  really  –  it was the Masters'. She knew that she would be at Cloud Recesses for a year more, and then she would have to go.

Wei Wuxian had become too needy and clingy; he would want to spend time talking to his son, and during the periods of rest  –  he would want to be with Lan Wangji constantly. Hanguang-Jun gave up classes until the baby was born – there was no point in even trying. 

Wei Ying spent a lot of time sleeping, holding him too tight, and yearning for his warmth. Their lovemaking became slow and careful, they paid more attention to petting and being gentle to each other. It often made Lan Zhan sad  –  the constant adoration that Wei Ying was covering him in was almost unbearable. 

There had been intense and regular correspondences between the Lan brothers, exchanging news and opinions, discussing the upcoming birth and the wedding. Both Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng were forbidden from reading those letters, as they were predominantly about them, which, naturally, led to sulking, biting, scratching and "bad, bad Hanguang-Jun!!!".

Arrangements were made for the Mistress to travel to Lotus Pier in early spring together with Wen Ning, so that Wei Ying could catch his breath, and she did. But after a week there, they had to come back as she started feeling extremely under the weather, and in the end  –  started bleeding. Energy sharing with the Ghost General and Lan Xichen had no effect on the situation, so they had no choice. 

No one was more sorry that she had to travel back than Miao Lu herself  –  Gusu was truly beautiful, but Lotus Pier held special, exquisite beauty in spring; it was a warm and calm, a magical place of peace and contentment, a paradise on earth. 

She wanted to stay longer, or forever.

**

Hanguang-Jun's heart sank when he saw them return – Wei Ying needed more time to recuperate, he had been hoping for at least a month of fresh air. Lately, his poor heart was divided – he often asked himself whether, if faced with the choice, he would decide to choose his son, or his husband. 

As the baby grew, this choice seemed harder and harder, almost impossible.

Wei Wuxian pretended that all was fine, and usually overcompensated with jokes and frivolous, extravagant decisions, but he forgot that no one knew him better than his husband. Whenever he was alone and Lan Wangji had the chance to observe him, he looked lost and lonely, pale and mournful. 

And then, as the time of birth approached, he would fall ill after each time he'd spend the day or night with Miao Lu. 

Lan Zhan was sick with worry, as it felt as if every time he got him back on his feet again, he was literally fighting to save his life, pull him out of the swamp of Death.