Giving up on you

Brink of Insanity

December 2010

"10!"

Everyone screamed and I glanced at Shawn.

"9!"

He was smiling widely and his arm was wrapped around my shoulder.

"8!"

I could feel my heart pounding at an abnormal speed.

"7!"

I wonder if he knew how crazy he was driving me, standing so close.

"6!"

I started becoming fully aware of how I was breathing way to heavily and I focused on breathing normally.

"5! 4! 3! 2!"

I turned to wish Shawn a happy new year.

January 2011

"1!"

He kissed me... he actually placed his lips on mine and gave me a quick peck. I couldn't think my mind slowed down and I put my hand on my lips.

His face was really red and his eyes widened. "I thought- I didn't know- you turned." He stuttered.

"Shawn!! Baby Happy New Year!"Shawn's mom came, hugged him then placed a kiss on his forehead. "Happy New year Kayla." His mom shouted above the noise. She grabbed me in for a hug.

She left and started saying Happy New Years to other people at the small party. I turned to Shawn and he glanced at the floor.

"Happy New Years." I said able to regain my confidence. I leaned in and hugged him, he pulled me with one arm closer to him.

"You too, Kiki." He murmured as he placed a kiss on my cheek. "Double digits for our friendship and it still growing strong. I don't know what I would do without you."

He swayed me from side to side gently before letting go. I really wished I could stay in his arms because as stupid as it might sound I felt safe. I felt wanted whenever I was with him.

"You are so lovestruck!" My friend Eva from school laughed quietly once Shawn left to help his dad with something. "Eva." I grumbled as she pinched my cheeks.

"That was like his first kiss and your first kiss. That is so cute." She grinned as I told her about the 'incident'. "You were each others first kiss."

"But he is dating Sammy, so it's not cute and it is not okay. He drives me to the brink of insanity everyday with his possessive hugs and cute little smiles." I complained.

"Eva to me he is much much much more than my best friend but to him all I am and will ever be is his brown- eyed, black haired socially awkward best friend."

"How am I supposed to compete with Sammy..." I trailed off longingly. Eva snorted like I was being stupid and unreasonable, "Who was he with the minute the New Years started?" She asked.

"Me but-" I started, "But nothing Sammy is here but he preferred to stay with you, not because he was obligated to but because he wanted to."

"There is no need to compete with anyone nor compare yourself to her because you are beautiful and amazing." Eva said.

"I second that." Shawn came out of nowhere and stood next to me, I felt my cheeks heat up. "What's up? Who are you comparing yourself to?" Shawn asked.

Eva looked at me pointedly, "No one." I murmured. He rolled his eyes and touched the tip of my nose. "Well I'm sure whoever they are they don't compare to you, Kiki."