Giving up on you

Please Forgive Us

I looked up from the page I was frowning down at, "You can go see him now." Nurse Katie said with a smile. She put her hand on my shoulder and made circle motions.

"Give him some time, he will begin to remember especially with the help he is getting from Dr Notton." She informed me with a slight nod.

I nodded at her then walked to Shawn's room. I went inside and sat in the chair close to his bed. I glanced at him and he was staring at the page with curiosity.

"What does one say to another who does not remember them?" He read out. I could tell he was uncomfortable, as he played with his fingers with his eyebrows forming a frown.

His pink lips were slightly parted as if he wanted to say something else but he didn't. I moved my arm to expose the rest of the page.

"It's empty." I murmured looking straight into his beautiful lost eyes. "I wanted to write so many words, words that will provoke memories inside you, or emotions but I couldn't put my feelings into words."

"So I left the page blank, and now that I'm here there is still so much I want to say, but I can't, cause I can't wrap my mind around words to explain how I feel."

He looked even more uncomfortable, "Look Mickayla, the doctor 'trying to fix me'," he said sarcastically. "Said that I should allow you, well everyone to talk to me like how you are feeling and stuff."

"Shawn, no one is trying to fix you." I said quietly. "Really? Cause everyone walks around like their is something wrong with me." He grunted. "Shawn no one is trying to fix you, we are all just trying to give you back what you lost." I told him.

"And what was it I lost?" He asked with a hard tone. "As much as you may disagree... Your identity." I said. "The things that make you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes. The memories that define you and the people to."

"So please forgive us for trying to give you your identity back." I said. It came out harsher than intended and I knew it, there was a knock on the door. "I'm going to the cafeteria real quick do you want anything?" I said quietly.

He shook his head as Dr Notton came in, "Miss, you can give us about an hour then you can come back." He said. I smiled and nodded, then walked out of the room.

I leaned against the wall by the door and put my head in my hands, "I can't do this." I whispered to myself, trying to shake off the tears.

~¤~

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I looked up and a guy around my age looked back at me. "Um no it's okay." I said. "You know misery loves company, so hi misery I'm company." He said sticking out a hand.

I gave him a weary smile as I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you." I said quietly. "Are you visiting someone?" He asked. I nodded and played with my fingers. "You?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm a patient here." He said with a sad smile, "Have been for a while." "I'm sorry." I murmured. He nodded and I could tell he wanted to roll his eyes.

We sat in a comfortable silence before he placed his hand over mine, "Who are you here for?" He asked. I glanced down at our hands and felt comfort.

"A friend." I said, "Actually he is more than a friend, he was- IS- my best friend, my best friend that I am crazy inlove with." I put my other hand over his, "But he has amnesia and doesn't remember me."

"Oh gosh that's heavy." He muttered looking at me with worried eyes. "You?" I asked to avoid talking about my feelings, I didn't even know why I told him all that.

"We will be clichés together, I have cancer." He said gesturing to the top of his head. I raised my eyebrows in concern, "I hate cancer and I hate doing chemo and I hate the fact that the guy you love has amnesia. I'm sorry." He said with a frown.

"This world is messed up, but you never really realise it till something directly affects you." I said. The guy nodded in agreement, he took his hand away and took a sip of his drink.

"By the way my name is Kade." He said with a smile, "Mickayla." I replied with a smile. "Mickayla would you like to see my favourite place here?" He asked and I nodded.