Giving up on you

No Matter What

When I got to Shawn hospital room I couldn't stop myself from giving him a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my head rest in the crook of his neck.

He put his arms awkwardly around my upper body, since he was lying in bed, resting his leg and arm that had been messed with in the crash.

"Um hi." He said as I sat down, "Hey." I said quietly, I noticed the dairy I gave him was still untouched and I sighed.

"I brought you something." I said pulling out our mixtape, "I was wondering why one of the nurses came and put that there." He said pointing to the cassette player.

"I made this for you, for your 14th birthday, last month we were going to go on a road trip together, and you and I promised each other that no matter what we would drop everything, take this mixtape and travel." I said putting in the cassette.

"It feels just like it was yesterday
We were inlove
Why's it falling apart
I've never been one to walk away
But I've had enough
And it's breaking my heart..."

I couldn't help but hum along to one of my favourite songs, "Who is this by?" Shawn asked me as he squinted his eyes like his trying hard to remember. "The Cab." I said quietly as I watched him get frustrated with himself.

"It's okay, not to remember..." I said trailing off quietly. "No no no don't say that cause you don't mean it, all of you- you keep pushing me to remember so obviously there is something wrong with not remembering." He said.

"I know this hard for you Shawn but we are doing it out of a place of love." I said walking to him and holding his hand. He looked at me then at our intertwined fingers, he didn't remove it instead he gently squeezed my hand.

A action he hand done several times in the past and it brought back memories. "Is- is this me?" Shawn asked and I listened to the music playing.

"We don't have to be ordinary

Make your best mistakes

We don't have the time to be sorry..."

"Yeah, you wrote it." I said watching his reaction. He kept a straight face but simply nodded, there was a knock on the door and we both glanced at the door to see who it was.

"Ah Miss Richardson." Dr Notton said with a smile. "Good to see you." He added. I nodded in response, "Likewise doctor." He looked at our still intertwined hands.

"This session will be finished in about a hour and a half." I nodded and took my hand out of Shawn's, he looked at me and gave me a shy smile. "Could you... leave the cassette here?" He asked.

I nodded eagerly, "Of course." I said. I smiled at how he wanted something that was ours; mine and his; I picked up my bag and bid my goodbyes to him.