125 and 214 Shades of Grimes

Hope

Argh… What was happening… I felt so weak and my stomach felt queasy…
I tried to open my eyes, and realized I was on a bed in a dark room. Well, it was not exactly dark; there was weak sunlight coming in through the curtains.
I blinked a few times and opened my eyes in a startle as I caught two shadows sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room, their eyes shimmering from the light that had escaped into the room.
I sat up in a hurry, not knowing what was going on. I felt lightheaded and dizzy sitting up so quickly, but I could not care less.
“Shhh,” one of the shadows said, and my eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness around me. The two shadows advanced towards me, and I realized that they were John and Edward Grimes.
Why were they here? Where was—
I let out a sudden gasp after remembering what had happened.
They stopped in their tracks and studied me carefully, trying not to scare me.
“We won’t hurt you,” Edward said, “We just wanted to let you know everything… And you can leave if you want to after getting better; you should rest for a while for now.”
I could not speak. Thoughts were racing in my mind and I did not know how to respond to them anymore. Should I scream and run for the hills? But there was a string pulling me back from this option deep down in my belly.
I did not want to lose them. As much as they should be out of my life, I did not want it to happen.
Why though? I did not even know them well; they should not mean anything to me. Why did I feel like that?
They might be attractive and mysterious and seemed to have the ability of luring every single female towards them, but my instincts were telling me that they did not suit me. I should not even be friends with them. But that was only what the rational part of me was thinking. Deep down I did not want to kick them out of my life.
“(Yn),” they came forward to sit down on the edge of the bed when they could see that I would not overreact while I leaned back against the head board, and after moments of silence, finally John said, “We know we shouldn’t be saying this but… Can we at least try to be friends first? You can totally run away from us, and tell us to go away, and we will do it on your demand for sure – but we really, really want to get to know you… We don’t want you to go.”
Their faces made my irrational part even more determined. I honestly did not want them to go, no matter how wrong that was.
“Just friends,” Edward emphasized.
“We should hope that you’d opt for the running away option; we don’t want to hurt you… But we can’t just let you go without letting you know how much we want to get to know you. I can promise you we won’t do what we do to the other girls; we would first like to be friends with you. We really don’t want you to go,”
Did they mean that they still wanted me in that way? Well, I did not really know… But it did seem like they still wanted it.
I bit my lip and looked down at my intertwined fingers. What should I say?
“I don’t know,” I said slowly finally, “I – I don’t want you two to go either; but that’s not going to work. I can’t be what you want me to be. I don’t do that sort of things. I can only do a proper relationship with someone I love… And by someone, I mean just one person.”
“But we only want you to be our friends,” Edward said.
“But you’ll want more later,”
They did not respond. They knew what I was saying was true.
“This won’t work out; it’ll be awkward and it won’t last if we are just friends when you two want it to be more constantly. We’ll all just hurt in the end,” I said quietly.
“Give it a go?” John whispered, “We’ve never, ever wanted someone this bad. I mean, we just don’t want you in that sense… We… We want to know you. We did not even bother to know about those girls in the past; we did not even know some of their names, but… It seemed like it’s different with you…”
“I don’t know what is happening now,” Edward rubbed his brow, “I’ve never felt like this. I just… We feel happy around you. It’s like you infect us with this alien feeling…”
I could see confusion in them. It was like they want to let someone into their circle but was getting confused in the process. This was all new to them; they always kept them to themselves and never really communicated with others properly, except in that way that I did not even want to think more about.
And that was it. I felt like I should help them with that. They could not possibly force me into something that I did not want, and I knew well enough that they would not hurt me without me saying so. I could almost see through them as they were wrapped in confusion; deep down, they were still two good lads. They just needed someone from the outside to save them from the darkness.
“Okay,” I said, “I’ll be your friends. As long as you don’t do something that makes me want to scream for the hills, I’ll be your friends. You don’t want me to go, and I don’t too, so yeah.”
Really, why were we even making this look like such a big deal? But it seemed like letting someone in on their secret and into their world was a big step for them.
I would make them happy. I would. I promised myself. I would make them to taste the happiness that they had missed out on in the past years. Everyone deserved to be happy.
Smiles slowly crept onto their faces, “So we don’t have to leave,”
I shook my head, smiling too. When I actually thought of it, maybe knowing about their big secret was not so scary after all. 
“How are you feeling now?” Edward asked with a smile.
“Better,” I said, “I was just shocked and it was too much for me to digest the facts.” I admitted.
“I’m sorry,” John said.
“It’s okay,” I said, “It’s actually a relief to know about this, since it’s been all so confusing before hearing about the truth… Do you mind if I ask how long has this been going on?” I was referring to their… Practice with girls.
“Since we were legal,” John replied a-matter-of-factly.
“How old are you now?”
“Twenty one,”
So it had been going on for almost four years. Four years of unhappiness, uncertainty and doubt. It had been more or less like this before they were eighteen, but then, they did not drown themselves in such kinky encounters before.
This just made me feel bad for them.
I had to make them happy and free again.