125 and 214 Shades of Grimes

New Life... Not?

I woke up with a startle. My stomach was once again churning, and I quickly leaped up from my bed and bolted for the toilet.
It was so bad. I had not eaten anything properly yesterday and my stomach was empty, which made the whole throwing up process ten times worse. I thought I was going to pass out on the cold, hard floor.
It was just five in the morning, and even though I had just slept for two hours – I was glad that I was able to fall asleep and had a dreamless two-hour sleep – I could not go back to sleep anymore. My whole body was aching, and the pain in my heart was the worse.
I went to the kitchen to find some biscuits. I forced a few slices down my throat, and drowned a glass of water. That was slightly better.
I sat on the sofa in the living room for about two hours before phoning the office, telling them that I was sick and could not make it for the day. I then stared into space some more, before heaving myself up from the sofa and went to see the doctor.

“Miss (your last name),” the doctor said after a throughout examination with me, and she had just told me about how I should eat more and blah blah blah, or I would die, “And there’s another news. You’re pregnant.”
Hold up – what?
“What?” I widened my eyes and gasped at her.
“You’re pregnant,” she offered me a smile, “Congratulations.”
I – I was pregnant? Wha – how? I gasped. John and Edward? But who? Oh God. Oh dear God.
“I know it’s such a shock,” the doctor said softly, “Here are some leaflets – you may find them useful.”
I took the leaflets from the doctor with shaky hands, and shoved them into my bag. I was… Pregnant?

I got home with the medicine and… The little thing in my body. I was still in shock. I wanted to scream down the road and dive head first down the cliff.
Why did this have to happen? Like it was not hard enough leaving the twins?

Another month had passed, and I still continued my nightmare-ish life like the way I did before. Nothing had changed other than my growing tummy. There was an obvious bump now, and everyone except my four closest friends knew about the real reason behind it. All my colleagues were not close to me as you could tell – I was a living dead and tended to distance myself from everyone. Even Katy did not know – she also believed in the tale that I told her like everyone, which was I had got a boyfriend that was living with me now, and his name was Paul.
And my friends disapproved my actions. Even though it was wrong, they thought I should tell them about this. It was to be fair.
But how could I? I had decided to cut off all ropes, and there was no turning back – or all those efforts would go into waste.
There was another piece of news too, which I found out today during my regular checkup – I was not expecting one baby. I was carrying two. Twins. Not identical though, and there was a possibility that they had two different fathers.
It was like the world around me was starting to break apart, and I could not do this anymore… I did not know when I would give in and break down.
But there was one good thing about this – as there was not just me now, so my appetite had grown. But still, I was a walking dead, there was nothing that could change that. My heart was still in pieces.
And right now, I wanted some milk. I hunted around the fridge and found nothing that I wanted, so I decided to go out to shop for groceries… Or better, maybe I should go into town, and find a coffee shop to sit down. I needed some fresh air; I had been shutting myself in the house for too long.
I had just finished my cup of coffee and I was staring around the shopping mall. Yes, I was actually in a shopping mall. I had not been to one for two months. I refused to join all the meetings that my best friends had asked me to. And surprisingly, I started to relax in this busy place… I should have done it earlier. Maybe I could do this after all. Maybe I could survive and might even find my happily ever after one day. I stroked my bump.
Just when I was starting to sense hope, I spotted a familiar blond head in the distance.
No! It could not be!
I widened my eyes and tensed up. But when the person turned around in the crowd, it was just another guy sporting a similar hairstyle.
Oh, I was just being paranoid. I immediately relaxed… But not for long. Without warning, I saw two people – yes, two this time – with the same hair that I just saw moments ago. Walking into my direction, talking to each other. They were wearing identical clothes, and they still looked as gorgeous as I remembered. It was just that their eyes did not sparkle the way they used to be; it was like the emeralds had lost their grace. It was saddening to see, but still strikingly beautiful.
John and Edward were here.
I quickly ran all the possibilities that could happen through my head. Not now, not now! Just when I was about to adapt to my current life, they could not barge into it again!
Run away. I had to run away. I ditched my empty coffee cup on the table and walked in the opposite direction so they were just staring at my back even if they had seen me. They could not know it was me, could they?
I walked swiftly across the marble floor and headed towards the exit of the mall. Just when my hand had come into contact with the door handle, the oh-so-familiar voice rang behind me.
“(Yn)?” I could hear the confusion and emotions masked behind the voice. I was stopped in my track. I could not help it, even though I knew I should pretend that I did not hear it – now they knew it was really me.
“Is it really you?” another almost identical voice rose behind me, this time closer. I was all tensed up, standing next to the glass door.
They were about to reach me and confront me! I had to grasp my last chance!
Pushing the glass door with all my might, I ran out of the mall and down the street, around the corner to the park and—
“(Yn)!” someone grabbed my elbow and halted me in my track. I was forced to turn around.
“(Yn),” it was John who had got a hold on me, and his tongue caressed my name gently, just as how it was in my memory. I closed my eyes, and blinked up at them, trying to keep my emotions at base.