Within A Stardust

Chapter 44 - Losing?

"Get some rest, I will take watch on the living room while checking the results and what Stan have made so far." Saf said and give Lizzie the pain killer. "Thank you." She was hesitating to leave but Saf assured her that she will be fine so she left and head to the guest room.

She closes the door and as she turns, everything starts to crumble like a house of cards. Not in the ocean, but she's drowning. There's no fire but she can feel her soul burning.

Lizzie slumps on the side of the bed which y/n used to sleep on. Out of breath, she stares at the open window revealing a blue sky with fluffy clouds while she can hear y/n's voice behind.

Her sense of time is out of control and she never realize. She closes her eyes, y/n's voice is getting louder.

Lizzie

No I'm good, thank you

It's all your fault!

I'm pretty sure if something bad happens to you, I will be blamed for it.

Lizzie

"Stop!" She screams and cries, then covers her head as if that can do something to the voice continuously surging in.

Her memories of y/n flashes again. From the first time she saw her in the podcast to seeing her shocked when she saw her apartment unlocked. Dragged away by her stalker in the pet shop, fear in her eyes, then it changes to a blooming passionate face in the pool area where she first started seeing her doing her hobbies.

And then she heard scratches and a whimper on the door.

Lizzie can't tell if it is real so she waited to hear another and there it goes again. She stands and wipes her tears as she walks towards the door.

It was Gecko, he sits and wags his tail, looking up at her like a kid.

An image of y/n flashes looking up at her with that kiddie face after pulling her sleeve to get her attention.

She smiles wearily as she wipes her tears again, then pick him up and close the door. 

Gecko continues to whimper then licks her  gently in the cheek, making her chuckle for a bit.

"You can sense i'm sad, do you?" She ask. Gecko puts his paw near her shoulder, as if trying to reach for a hug. "Aww, you're so sweet." She sighs. "I miss your owner. Do you miss her?" Of course, he didn't respond.

Lizzie glances at the bed and a memory of them playing with Gecko is there. She can see y/n calling Gecko while clapping, she was on the other side of the bed holding a treat, testing Gecko's loyalty. When Gecko takes the treat, y/n shouts "No" and throws a pillow at her, ending with laughs.

She sighs, then caress Gecko's head and sit on the couch near the window.

6 pm

Due to stress and exhaustion, Lizzie fell asleep and she only realized that when she wakes up hearing her phone ringing. It was Avery.

"Hey, I called because I wanna know how it went, but it seems like.. it failed?" Avery asks. She can tell Lizzie is not fine but the reason behind is the one that she can't determine. "No, it didn't fail because I wasn't able to do it. There's a lot of shit going on and I need to fix that first."

"Is it because of her? What happened?" She asks. Lizzie pauses. "I swear, nobody will know." Avery said.

Lizzie takes a deep breath, recollecting everything that has happened earlier and then closes the window. "She was kidnapped again... The police in charge in her case said he will do his best, but I don't know if I should still believe in that.. I was almost kidnapped too, by that same person who took her. It is horrible- those people are something else." She said, trying to hold back the tears.

"The day I called you? That was the same day she lost her sanity.. She tried to kill me. She was so desperate for help when I saw her at the lake that night, and she tried to kill herself- y/n was so scared." Lizzie burst into tears. "Sorry." Lizzie said.

"It's alright, I understand. I can see it in your face how stressed you are the moment you open the call." Lizzie stands up to get the pack of tissue in their backpack. "And then what happened?" Avery asks.

"I was able to save her, but she drowned a little because it was midnight and it is dark underwater. I called her doctor before that and she revived her.. However, there's a bigger problem after."

"Her condition got worse, if you could only see her. She looks like she's dead after that outrage- She won't talk or at least give a glance." Lizzie takes a deep breath, her voice is quavering. "And then I found out in the laboratory that she was depressed and had suicidal tendencies and I never even noticed. I wish I trusted you more, your advice.. because I feel like it's my fault." She sighs.

There is a pause.

"Don't blame yourself. Just.Don't... You haven't told me the whole story yet but I can feel that the problem is a bit out of your control." Avery said.

"Let me tell you something about her that might help and give you hope."