Within A Stardust

Chapter 37 - Control

*Y/N's POV*

It seems like you're on a loop, but this time, with this Lizzie situation. Can't you see it? She's 5 steps ahead of you!

Shut up! This is not the time for that! I'm cornered! I need to do things carefully around her even if I don't want to! Fuck!

After the confrontation, two things are stuck in my mind, what she said about my grandma and the threat she was fun to just throw in my face. Great.

7 pm

For the rest of the afternoon, I was in the couch pretending to sleep but in reality, those things keep replaying in my head.

So what do we do? What do I do?

First of all you need to relax. Second, be nice. She was so disrespected because you're dumb for not trying to breathe before speaking.

I was trying to control my emotions and you know that-

Yup, but you didn't do it here as you should. You were mean. That's not counted.

Ok, fine, i'll admit it this time that I didn't fully control my emotions and acts, so... What's the plan?

Like what I said, just be nice. Much better if you can apologize and just be yourself again.

Fuck no! But the nice part will do and let's just stick with that.

Wait, before you go. Do you still like her?

*Silence*

Come on, bitch don't lie to me. You still like her. You're anger is the heavy one which is why you can't recognize it! I knew it!

I'm outta here. You're being delusional at this point.

Before the other part of me can say a thing, Lizzie called and said it's dinner. "I'm not hungry." I said. "Don't lie to me. I know how hungry you are earlier." She said and place whatever that is she is holding.

I didn't respond. "If you won't move after I fix this, I will call your grandma." She said.

I force myself to get up and sit on the floor, in front of the table. I pull the other plate and get the spoon and fork and start eating.

During the meal, she would glance at me. "Eat, not swallow. You're forcing yourself." She said.

Don't answer.

I keep going, pretending I didn't hear it.

Pretty sure she heard it, that i'm not hungry. But she wants to me eat so I'll just do what she wants.

"Y/n." She called. After not hearing anything from me, she puts down her utensils and tried to reach my shoulder. I slap it away. "Don't touch me."

I crawl towards my wheelchair and head to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, locking it.

Opening the faucet and just staring at it.

I almost blurt out something mean. Why is this so hard?! Goodness!

I cover my face and take deep breaths. Clenching my fist, then releasing.

How I feel is the same with a dragon that's about to, you know, throw up a fire. If my anger can show itself physically without harming me, I would probably burning right now.

I want to punch the wall but of course, she will hear and be concerned. FUCK! I just want to be dusted!

After a few minutes of calming myself down. I head to the sink and wash my hands.