Far Apart || Kaeluc/ Genshin Impact fanfic

10. 𝕿𝖊𝖓

I am honoured to present this art by @akxtaa to celebrate the tenth chapter of this fic! Whooo

Thankyou peepaw~

Also thankyou guys for all the sweet comments and ahem urging for me to update (im sorry im sorry), they make me really happy and really cheer up my days hehe~

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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Sometimes when Diluc was alone— having a walk down the streets of Mondstadt, or simply lying awake in bed— when his mind wasn't occupied with work, suppresed thoughts that Diluc usually refused to think of would drift into his mind.

And it was on the night after he had carried Kaeya to the Cathedral, after he'd sorted out the mess of the attack, that Diluc, exhausted and worn and clothes still filthy, collapsed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling.

After he'd sent Kaeya to the cathedral, Diluc had had no time to ponder upon the man. He'd been busy clearing out any remaining enemies of the Abyss, then speaking to Jean about it. His mind had been occupied with the citizen's safety.

But now...

Kaeya is hurt.

That was the truth.

And he got hurt because of me.

Now, you see— Diluc is a very responsible person. And a perfectionist, for that matter. He would never let a single person near him get hurt in any way. As the uncrowned King of Mondstadt, he saw the city as his responsibility. He would blame nobody but himself if any harm were to come upon it. So it would come as no surprise that Diluc felt that Kaeya's condition was his fault.

(Though that wasn't completely wrong.)

But Diluc's thoughts, at times like these, tend to drift farther and farther, building up until Diluc would clutch his head and tell himself "It is all my fault. All of it. Everything." In a bad way.

And that was exactly what happened. Ah, well, more like with a twist.

Diluc lay on the bed, staring at the blank canvas of the ceiling, and a thought flashed through his mind—

If I had been able to defend myself properly, Kaeya wouldn't have to jump in and help. He'd jumped in to help me. Kaeya had not hesitated to help the person who'd tried to kill him—

If I were better, if I weren't so useless, so vulnerable—

I am undeserving of the things I have. Every single person I cherish and love has left me, and I am the one to blame. Father died to protect me. My relationship with Jean has turned from best friends to merely... working partners, or two people with a mutual friend named Kaeya.

Diluc reached out an arm, fingers grasping at the air.

And now even Kaeya has slipped from my grasp and away.

Diluc's arm fell back to the bed. He remembers the smiles Kaeya would reserve only for him. He remembers all those times they had walked, together, out of their own misery and troubles. How Kaeya was always there to support him, how Diluc too was there to support Kaeya.

Diluc's heart ached whenever he was around the blue-haired man. Perhaps that was why he stayed away from Kaeya all the time, avoided him at all costs— because it was too painful to think back to the past, and being near Kaeya reminded him of it. But despite Diluc's cold demeanour, despite expressing his disdain towards the Cavalry Captain so many times, he'd never meant them— whenever Kaeya wasn't around, he missed him, that was the undeniable fact.