Her and Her Unofficial Love Affairs

CHAPTER 32

If that song had been out by the time our fondness and infatuation to each other was about to end, I would not have shed buckets of tears! If only I had listened to my other "conscience", I would not have gone deeper. If only I ignored, I would not have been so affected.

Because the love story ended. Love stories that seldom happen to me. It was just so bad because we were left without a choice. I pitied him, I pitied me, I pitied us! It was so hard accepting the truth of us parting.

"I love you. More than a friend," Tom quickly got in my way as I was entering Mr. Angelio's shoe shop one fine afternoon. A week had passed since his grandparents' renewal of vows when I never answered his calls and texts. He went to Legally Hitched Weddings and Events a couple of times to see me but I made sure not to come to our wedding shop in the usual hours of him coming over so I couldn't catch up with him. In short, I was avoiding him the entire week but he cornered me in one of our little town's street as I tried to divert my attention by shopping for shoes in order to forget this boy who's tailing behind me.

"What do you want?" I uttered controlling myself not to believe him.

"What happened to us?" he got perplexed at my behavior towards him.

"Let's stop seeing and talking to each other," I flatly said.

"But I said I love you," he appealed.

"That'll pass, Tom," I said dryly while opening the door at Mr. Angelio's shop.

"Tell me you don't love me and I won't bother you anymore," he got into my way through the door.

"Well then, I don't," I said with the entire sincere look I could muster to cover up my lie.

"In denial," he as he walked away.

Sad to say, my reason to smile had become my reason to cry. I hated myself for allowing him to let me fall for him! I was so so so bitter! I was sour-gripping! I was stupid! I didn't have any outlet to shout out loud my madness at that instant. My only friends were Snickers, siomai, and tequila.

Acceptance, letting go, and moving on – 3 difficult phases that I had to undergo all by myself. It pained me a lot because it was so unfair! That for the first time in my life, I had loved somebody who loved me but it just couldn't be.

"Here are our new arrivals, dear," Mr. Angelio proudly presented his latest secret collection to me. I only stared blankly at the myriad of pairs of shoes in front of me.

"Is everything OK with you, dear?" he added.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind if I'll take a look at those Louboutins?" I requested pointing at the pair of red piou pious in the showcase.

"My apologies but that's a size seven, my dear," he said regrettably.

"How about those Manolos?" I inquired pointing at Carrie Bradshaw's hangisi jewel-buckle pumps as Mr. Big's wedding proposal to her.

"That's also a size seven, dear," he again apologetically said.

"So what are size six of these?" I was starting to get irritated at him.

"These Valentinos and Choos," he offered.

"Oh, not my bet," I declined.

"These Lei Sees then?" he was brandishing a pair of red d'orsays on my face as if he already won the battle.

"Yes, those are pretty but still no," I still refused.

"OK, then. Maybe this is not the time for shoe shopping for you," he surmised.

"Oh, even for shoe shopping is not my time. Just when will my time be?" I complained.

"Whatever it is, dear. It will surely come at the right time," he said consolingly.

Then again, I came to ask. What if he turned out to be a totally different person while I also turned out to be another totally different person in a different lifetime, would our fate have changed? But we cannot choose the person we fall in love with 'coz it just happens!

However, I didn't have any regrets because falling for him was still something beautiful.

"Hello, Mr. Angelio!" Criselda suddenly came to the scene with a singsong greeting to the old man. "Oh, hi Anj! It's great to see you here! But, I'm quiet resentful of you for not telling me about this haven beforehand," she added as she came to me giving me kisses on both cheeks.

"Oh, it didn't cross my mind, Criselda," I said unapologetically. "So I'll just see you some other time, Mr. Angelio. You have a new client to attend to," I turned to Mr. Angelio who was clearly delighted to see Criselda.

"Yeah, and in that time, something beautiful will be waiting her for you," he promised me.

Something beautiful happened to me! I fell in love! Though it left me, it's still beautiful. Yes, I've cried. And though I've cried, it's still beautiful. It made me feel human! It made me feel alive! It was unexpected and made me realize not to be afraid to fall.

So now, I'm excited for the "next please...". Maybe this time, it will stay not for a while but for a long time... But I'm not wishing for forever since I'm not yet ready for the real thing. Love love love! Come love! Come magic! Come beauty! Come and make your surprises!

His mission in my life had been accomplished! Next in line please...