Her and Her Unofficial Love Affairs

CHAPTER 34

Months had passed and I'm still thinking of him. I missed him yesterday, I miss him today, and maybe I will also miss him tomorrow. Just until when will I miss him?!

Months had passed and there's still no "next please". Nobody had ever approached aside from him. Just how long will I sit here waiting? This current state is just so pathetic!

I super missed him! I missed our talks, our laughs, our nonsense! And now, I don't have a textmate and a phonepal anymore. I don't have somebody to occupy my mind. Worst, I don't have somebody who has the power to make me smile anymore...

"Anj, that really is my problem. Lance. I could not fathom him. I could not get into his heart," Criselda surprisingly invited me for coffee one rainy afternoon. I said yes to her just to get my mind off Tom but there she was who was the one who had the right to have some drama.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Criselda," I tried to console her.

"This is why I really wanted to talk with you, Anj. The first time I met with Lance was on a plane trip to Hongkong in 2006. He was really fond of talking about a certain Angelie, I presumed to be his childhood friend," she confessed. "It was a whirlwind romance that we had so it was only later when I found out that he was about to get married in 2005. He chose not to talk about it and maybe you know the reason why?" she inquired.

"Oh, yeah. We were hired for their supposed wedding but Yvonne left without giving us any reason why they called off their wedding," I recalled.

"Well, maybe you know Lance's reason?" she further asked.

I was taken by surprise. Will I say that I was the reason? But it was not surely me. He suddenly went missing in action after kissing me when they called off their wedding. "He said nothing at all," I tried to sound factual though I felt a little guilty for not telling her of the kiss. Should I? I didn't even know the meaning of that kiss. Then I was reminded of the boy whom I lost without even having the chance to kiss him.

Twice of seeing and talking with him after we parted ways showed no spark in his eyes at all. It was so unlike before that it was only me he was seeing and it was only him I was seeing. Unlike the times when we got to ignore the people around us.

As I looked into his eyes during those two brief and stolen moments, I asked myself "What happened to us?" But I quickly shook the thought off from my head and acted normally casual. Anyway, I'm just glad that he still comes to see me.

Then I knew it! Eventhough without words, I felt it. It must had been love! Love was there. Love not the boyfriend-girlfriend type. Love not just a friend but more than a friend. Love not to a sister from a brother or vice versa. But love unexplainable! A very special kind of love, a rare love, a precious one!

I don't have a heavy heart anymore. I'm glad that we had managed to save what we had. I'm still special to him and will always be as what he is to me. I just lift everything to the Lord God Almighty who created this special bond between us.

Then there was once this Chinese song about the moon that says "the moon represents my heart". Like the moon, he will always be there. Like the moon, he's still watching me. A certain movie also says that time is meaningless when you are in love. But there ain't no guarantee that I can wait. So as February ends, allow me to also end this love story for the meantime. There were already plenty of blah blah blahs and my message to him is just so simple:

"This I promise you – if in another lifetime we'll meet again, I'll never let you go....."