i'm gonna call you love | Tyler, The Creator

Chapter 30

"stop moving so much" Khanani said to me in her sleepy voice.

It was 4am and I couldn't sleep at all. I was so restless and kept moving around. My mind was honestly all over the fucking place and I really have no reason to be up thinking like this. I looked at Nani who was asleep in front of me. Her mouth was slightly open and she was drooling a little, I smiled at her and put my face closer to hers. I began Eskimo kissing her and she felt it. She touched her nose trying to get rid of the feeling, she must have thought it was a feather or something but it was just my nose rubbing hers.

I sighed once she stopped and continued looking at her pretty face. I counted all her beauty spots and kept playing with her bottom lip. She didn't react until I sneezed out of nowhere. She blinked a couple times then went back to sleep...well I thought.

"Leave my face alone" she said making her words all slurred

"Sorry"

She kept her eyes closed and spoke.

"You can't sleep?"

"Yes"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't stop thinking"

"About?"

"I don't know stuff"

"Like?"

"The album, my mom, the store, me, you, us"

"Is that it?"

"There's more but I don't wanna ruin your sleep with my problems"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes to try and stay awake for me. She looked at me then smiled.

"Talk to me"

"You've got work later and this is your first day back since the heart attack so you should really rest and be ready for later."

"Tyler...i really wanna go back to sleep but I can't do that knowing you're not okay, look at me"

I stared into her tired eyes and listened to what she had to say.

"Whatever the issue is I'm sure you can overcome it. I know how smart and technical you are. You're able to do anything and succeed at that, I've never met anyone more focused and serious about their craft like you, I don't know where these doubts are coming from but I know you're intelligent, honest, practical, creative and right now...tired so come here and stop worrying"

She opened her arms, I moved closer to her, I lay my head on her boobs and hugged her. She rubbed my back then held my hand up to her face, she kissed it multiple times making me smile then put it back where it was under her back.

"You've got this baby, let those insecurities go and do everything for you and not for others. Make yourself proud before seeking validation. If it makes you feel any better, I am seriously so proud of you and that's in regards to everything. You've been an amazing artist, son, brother, friend, businessman and boyfriend. You continue to impress and shock me with what you can come up with. Baby don't worry now let's get some rest okay...i love you"

I let everything that she said sync in and I got really emotional. Nobody I love this much has ever said their proud of me and it felt sooooo different with Nani. My eyes began to water and I wiped them fast but a couple tears landed on her.

"Why are my boobs wet?" She asked me

I chuckled and looked up at her

"Sorry...thank you by the way I really needed this. I love you so much I don't think you understand" I smiled at her while she looked at me while rubbing my back.