Heart of Thirst

20

Chapter Twenty

Dreams

We never met again. He fulfilled his promises to avoid me, and I guess for three years, he succeeded. Dahil pagkatapos ng gabing iyon, hindi ko na muli siyang nakita pa. I saw Xyzon, his cousin and Etta a lot. Even the Hartly's and Marvis' clan was always around, pero siya... palaging wala. Hindi ko na iyon pinagtaka dahil ako naman ang naghiling sa kaniyang huwag na muling magpakita sa akin.

After what I've done to his feelings, I don't think he also has the face to face me. Even I myself can't have the confidence to meet him again after what happened. Sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng mga kamag anak niya ay natataranta ako. Palagi kong naiisip na paano kung nandiyaan na naman siya. Paano kung magkita kami at may mangyari na namang masama sa akin at mapahamak ulit siya. It haunted me. In those three years, he never left my mind. He's always whispering through my ears and I can't help but reminisce about what we had before all of this happened.

The world's just so cruel. It didn't allow me to move on. I was in my 1st year as a law student when I got the opportunity to enter a new environment.

The Azenthius Organization

Binasa ko ang nakasulat sa papel pagkatapos pirmahan lahat ng nandoon. Kung papaano ako makakapunta sa ibang bansa para simulan ang training at kung ilang buwan ko iyong gagawin. And if they liked my performance for the first three months, they might get me and have me be part of their team.

"Sure ka na ba?" tanong ni Monica. "Hindi mo pa 'yan nababanggit kila Tita. And I doubt they'll allow you,"

"Wala silang choice,"

"Bakit kasi naisipan mo na naman? You're doing good in law school. How can you continue that if you're going to apply?"

Huminga ako ng malalim at muling sinulyapan ang papel. Hindi ko siya sinagot. I also don't know why I want this kind of job. It's dangerous, of course. Pero ano pa nga bang magagawa ko eh mula pagkabata ay katabi ko na ang kamatayan.

"Ang sabihin mo, hindi ka pa nakakamove on, kaya gusto mong sumali diyan," ngumiwi siya at hinarap ako. "You failed to pass the application last year. That's already a sign that you should not continue this plan. Kakasimula pa lang ng taon, Stella..."

"At ayaw kong dalhin ang alaala ng nakaraang hanggang sa matapos ang taong ito, Monica."

"Edi inamin mo rin! You're doing this because until now, he's still hunting you. And you still love him. Anyway, kung ako naman ang nasa posisyon mo ay hindi rin ako makaka move on kaagad. Pero... it's been years, hindi pa ba pagod yang puso mo?"

Marahan akong tumawa sa tanong niya. "How I wish it was just easy to move on from him when he set my standards so high,"

"I'm not telling you to find another man to heal your heart,"

"I don't have any plans to do that either,"

"Oo dahil he asked you to stay single!" Tinuro niya ako habang nakakunot nag noo. Ngumiwi pa siya at umiling dahil tinawanan ko ang rekasyon niya. "Ewan ko ba sa inyong dalawa. You're too much for each other, but you also can't live without each other,"