DISCLAIMER! this is all a joke. i am not shipping people irl and this is kind of to poke fun at fanfics.
there your in the middle of the dance floor dancing with everyone. youve got a feeling in your bones. tonight is gonna be gr8.
hip hop is playing in the club right now. the best one, it's everyday bro. the only rap song that should exist.
you see a guy from across the pub. he's about 5'11 and dark like horse poop. me likely. he's wearing sum red high tops.
"ello luv. what u want to drink" he says in a very british accent holy crap i'm currently preganaege.
"the peter pan drink hansum" you say seductivly. he looks at you and smiles. his teeth is... questionable.
"peta pon cumin roght up!!!" he screams very mennasingly. i decide to get up and put on some very smexy lipstick to hopefully give his bone a rise.
he gives you the drink and stares at your imaculate crystal brown eyes. he gives you a opened condom packet with numbers written on.
"coll me layter luv" he says.
"wait i never got your name" you say wanting to know more about the strangely strange stranger.
"olajide olatunji but you can call me daddy" he winks. you rase ur i-brows. "or just jj" he says awkwaderly. you give a hardy chuckle and nod your head violently making sweat fly everywhere.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER
you got back to your luxerious manson and sat on the couch. i'm bored. your phone then dings from across the house. it echos soooo loudly. i love being rich💋.
you pick up you're phone and see a text from an unknown number
420-911-6969: hello u sex goddessssssss😝🍑✨🤰💋
you jump excitedley. you change his name to jj and message him back
Queen Bitch: hey hun
you sit there and wait for him to repli. he obviously has no friends looking like that. he beard is all spoltchy and his hair linne is miles back.
you look back at ur iphone 6s rose gold with 64 gb and see that the neek has left u on red. hOw dare he the nerrv. you decide to go back to the club where he works as a bartender at the bar of the club that he works at.
u barst into the club to see him kissing some blonde girl who's so much older than you, everything ur insecure about.
you scream loudily as loud as you can. every1 looks at you and you run up to him and punch him. blood comes out of his mouth and sprays you. you get very turned on
you knew he could box do too his very famous boxing match with the famously famous logan pail. the paul brother that matters.
he looks at you angerily with so much anger it's crazy how angery he is with the amount of anger he is showing. he picks you up and throws you in the bar. you here a loud cRack. that was ur back.
"owwwwwwwwwweewwwwwwweeesmewwwwwwww" you scream. the police here it from the police station where all the police work and hurry there way there.
jj looks at u in horror at the problematik crime he just kommited. the police arrive at the seen and take him away.
KSI'S POV
omg i cant believe i just did that :(.
Y/N POV
you bleed out do to the force of the body slam. they try to save you but can't. you die.
JJ'S POV
they take me to jail but i fight them all off because i so savage and boujee. but then they found my weakness simon. he's the reason i try to get with all these hawt wamon.
simon comes in the door with a ak47 and pints it at my pp. i have no choose but to sarrendar.
THREE HOURS LATER
i arrive at the jail. simon comes in my sell with me and sits next to me
"i'm goin tö sit next tö yu" simon says as he sits next me. "whot yu did was wrung" he then explains talking about how the thing i did was wrong.
"ik simon" i say telling him ik i was wrong. he then pulls me on his lap and pets my hair. we the. fall asleep not thinking about y/n and her calcium deficiency
HELLO MY LOVES. i hope y'all like this sorry it took me 4evaaaa to upload :(((((. school has been so awful T^T. but i wrote this just for my bestie @cre8tiveimaginesgurl so hear you go. and happy national toenail day everyone !!!!
-july 22
-calumhoodisdaddy18xx
775 words
YOU ARE READING
Bunch of Good 'Ole Fashion One Shots
Fanfictionthis is all satire pls don't bully thanks😀
