DISCLAIMER! this is all a joke. i am not shipping people irl and this is kind of to poke fun at fanfics.
Y/N POV
you walk onto ur shaired room that you and john green share together to go to bed in youre shared bed. john greene was busy recording a crash course for you soemtimes. you sometimes wish he'd crash ur course instead.
you sigh upset that u r going to bed alone like you always do in you and johnnys shared bed. u r sad until you hear and jiggle tingle at the door nob.
u get up super excitedilty. u pant like a dog because ur just so happy to see ur true love john green. he sees you and instantly grabs u by youre vulmtuous big juicy hips and throws you against the wall.
your in shock by what johnson just did and moan due to the cold hard brick wall colliding with your soft tan exposed back.
"did you know alexander the great was buried alive" he growls like a mutt and bites your nostril. you shake you're head no and he smacks ur tight ass as punishment for not knowing the incredibibly easy statemant.
john grabs u r tiny hand with massive sausage fingers and brings you up to youre shared bedroom and throws you on your shaired bed.
"the most successful pirate was a prostitute" he yells as he starts to bite you're exposed nec. the more history facts he says the more you get hotter down there... if you know what i mean.
you want to try and sudeuce him so you say "a^2 + b^2 = c^2". you scream it passionately hoping that hell like it but instead he grabbs the candle next your shared bed and lights it and then put the fire out by shoving it in your vagina/anus hole (A/N it can be for men or women!!!!)
"i'm the smart one tigggly toe bottom. i am the only one to say facts" at this point you are crying but he says you can take it so he continues.
"did you know our greatest and most honorable president andrew jackson had a pet parrot" johnny daddy states as he slides his tongue over your toe nail. you don't remember when he went down there but you're head it cloudedde by the sensation of his tong.
he then reeched across youre shared bed to your sharied nightstand and takes out a pen. his shock pen. he uses them in his crash corse videos and you guys live to use it in the bedroom.
he clicks it and shocks himself which makes you whine in anticipation because you love seeing him pain but it also scares you. but you like to be scared soemtiems.
"you know what i hate" johnny says as he takes his peen out and puts it up to ur vajayjay. you start to say that you don't know until he cuts you off knowing that you don't know because you in factly do not know what he hates because johnny boy hates a lot of things and that's the main problem that you have with him but you're too scared to say anything because it might result in death and you don't wanna end up like his last ten girlfriends who are all buried under his basement. you lose your train of thought as he starts to thrust and then shocks you with his pen sending a big shock threw ur entire body, paralyzing ylu.
"i hate the people who think that paul reveres shouted the british are coming" he stops his movements and pulls out leaving you so sad.
"like it's really pathetic and then him calling a one death a massacre was also a reach. he's not even that much of a hero. tbh i'm more id a manly man than he is." john rambles abojt paul revere so much that ylu start to dry up due to not being able to move
"soory for stopping my sugar plum foot let me get back too it" john green says sweatly but you had enuff.
"iM DONE WITH THIS JOHN HISTORY IS THE WORST SUBJECT MATH JS BETTER.'!!.!!..!!" you yell shoutedly in a loud tone. he looks at you with such fiery in his i's and wuthout a second to think about what you had just yelled at your daddy john he grabs his machete.
"did you know y/n.... that julius ceaser was stabbed 23 times?" you shake your head trmebiliing.
"well ig you'll know what it feels like" as he runs up to you and stabs your gorgoreus loving body 23 exact times right on your shared bed. john drags your swiss cheese like body down the stairs and joins you with the rest of his dead gfs.
HIII GUYS i'm back from my lonng brake and i'm you guys totes missed me!!! i just wanted to poop in and take a trie on my school crush heheheh. isn't john green the hottest. anyway happy birthday brendon urie the emo god😔😔🫠😝❤️🔥😔🚫❤️🔥🫠👁🧢🦭🧢😝❌
-april 12
-calumhoodisdaddy18xx
757 words
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Bunch of Good 'Ole Fashion One Shots
Fanfictionthis is all satire pls don't bully thanks😀
