Koi No Yokan

Chapter 12

Rainey

I was expecting the dinner with Cariette's family to be awkward. The same dinner I am usually having with Ember's family. Nor with Elle's.

Kila Ember kasi literal na ayaw sakin ni Tita Grant. She told me since day one that she knew that I am using my pity card against her daughter. Na kesyo sinasamantala ko din daw na vulnerable si Ember nung mga panahon na iyon dahil iniwan ito ni Cray. Kaya naman pag sinasama ako doon ni Ember sa Isla ay hindi sumasabay noon si Tita Grant samin kumain. Even Ember's siblings don't like me. Tanging si Tita Jen lang yung mabait sa pamilya nito. And Ember, to be fair, is just always eating in silence. She doesn't care if her family would like me or not. Pag tinatanong ko sya, lagi nya lang sasabihin that I shouldn't ask. Pretend oblivious. What I fail to acknowledge won't hurt me. Even the obvious ones.

While with Elle's, I just can't keep up with their family conversations during meals. Madalas kasi ay business ang pinag-uusapan ng pamilya nito at hindi ako makarelate. Buti pa si Elle nakakaintindi ng usapan tungkol sa negosyo. Samantalang ako, nganga lang talaga. Kahit pa maasikaso si Tita Alli at Elle, my lack of knowledge about their topic is what's making it awkward to be even there, sitting, and having meal with them.

But Carrie's family is far different from all of them. Her parents are both attentive and sensitive. Pag napapansin ng mga ito na wala akong masabi sa pinag-uusapan nila ay iibahin nila iyon o kaya naman yung mga anak ng mga ito yung ilalagay nila sa hot spot. Harrice isn't a snob too. Contrary to my first impression to her just a while ago in Carrie's car, mabait naman pala ito. She seems sweet and close too, to Carrie. And Carriete being an older sister, really made me ashame of what I was to Priam.

Really, being here reminds me of good memories I've used to have with my family. It's just like having the same dinner at home. Noong mga panahong okay pa sa bahay. Noong kumpleto pa kami at hindi pa umaalis si Priam para mag-aral sa ibang bansa.

How I wish I could turn back time and freeze that moment too.

Everything has drastically changed when Ember and I became a couple back then. Si Mommy madalas na umiyak noon. Halos gabi gabi. Si Mama naman ay madalas mawalan ng oras samin dahil madami daw itong inaayos na negosyo. Priam moved out of the house and decided to study abroad.

I feel left out. I want to share what's been going on my day like I used to. But they have a lot on their plates that time. So I took a huge step back for them to be able to breathe. Baka kasi nasu-suffocate na sila sakin. Baka napapagod na kakaintindi.

But should I know that the moment I stopped telling them what's going on with me would lead us here, I would stay being a nuisance to them that way. At least siguro baka kagaya pa din kami nung dati.

"Tara. Sa likod tayo. Di ka pa naman inaantok di ba?" Nakangiting hinatak ako ni Cariette patungo sa may patio sa likod bahay ng mga ito.

Yung parents kasi nito ay nagpaalam na pagkatapos namin magdinner na aakyat na daw dahil magmo-movie night pa ang mga ito. Si Harrice naman ay sinabi lang na may mga tatapusin pang projects and school papers kaya hindi na kami masasamahan.

And I am really not sure if those were just excuses or not. Kasi feeling ko, binibigyan nila kami ng space ni Cariette na makapagsolo.

"They aren't really busy, no?" Kumpirma ko kay Cariette.

Ito naman ay natawa lang doon bago tumango. "They were giving me space kasi sinabi ko na nanliligaw ako di ba?"

"Nanliligaw ka ba?" hindi ko maiwasan na itanong. Kasi base sa huling usapan namin, sigurado ako na walang ganoon.

I asked her if she wants to be my girlfriend. And if she's really into me, I'm sure she'll grab it right at that exact moment I asked.

"No." Carrie burst into laughs again before poking my cheek. "Why would I even chase you if I'm the catch? Besides, courting is not my forte."