Reconstructing Amelia (unedited)

Epilogue p2

August 4th, 2020

I leaned on the railing of my balcony, studying the picture in my hands. Today marked the fourth anniversary of my sister's death, and it felt worse than it had any other year.

I stared at the photo of Ella and me, glancing up at the starry summer sky. I tried to pick out as many constellations as I could find, smiling when I found the big dipper. Ella had always loved that one, finding something enticing about its simplicity. I hadn't spoken to Ella in a while, keeping busy with school and all the other things going on in my life, and with all of that, it was hard to find a safe time to really sit down and talk to her. And doing it with my brothers constantly hanging around made it feel weird.

The folder that Xander had given me last Christmas was sitting on my dresser, awaiting my decision. Part of me wanted so badly to go meet Kate, but the other half wondered if she'd even want to see me. What if she blamed me? What if she hated me for what Ben did?

I headed back inside, pulling a hoodie on over my T-shirt and shorts, and slipping on my shoes. I purposely left my phone on the bedside table before grabbing the folder and photo and heading downstairs as quietly as I could.

The rest of the house was silent, dark and rumbling with muffled snores. My footsteps echoed as I walked, and I prayed that nobody would wake up and hear me.

I grabbed the keys from the table in the foyer, slipping outside into the coolness of the summer night, plopping down in the driver's seat of my car. Alan and I had gotten our licenses last month, and it felt much freer to be able to drive on my own again.

I fumbled to see the address in the dark, but I managed to enter it into the navigation system. Kate lived halfway across the state, in Orient, which was a two-hour drive from Manhattan. But I'd drive a thousand hours if it meant I got to properly talk to my sister.

A harsh rapping on the window made me jump in fright, nearly screaming when I see Xander standing outside the car. It was too dark to properly read his expression but he looked frustrated. He opened the door and took a seat on the passenger side.

"What on earth are you doing?" he demanded, squinting at the navigation system. He noticed the folder in my hands and sighed. "It's today . . . isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

Xander sighed again. "Look, I know you want to go, but four a.m is not the appropriate time. Go back to bed and we'll drive up later."

"No," I stated firmly. "I'm going now." I watched Xander's jaw clench.

"Amelia, please don't argue with me. You're not driving across the state by yourself."

But I wasn't about to relent. Today was my day to grieve, and since her actual grave was back in Italy, I needed to make something special for her here.

"I'm going, Xander," I told him bravely. "You can either come with me or go back inside."

"The hell you are," he snapped. "Get out of the car right now."

I folded my arms over my chest. "No." We held each other's gaze for the longest time before eventually caved and shook his head.

"Christ, Amelia," he muttered. "This is ridiculous. But I'm not letting you go alone, give me five minutes."

"Don't tell anyone," I said in relief, giving him a grateful smile.

He only sent me a bitter look. "Don't push your luck." He shut the door a little hard than necessary and stalked off towards the house.

Several minutes later, he emerged again, wearing joggers and a T-shirt, his hair brushed and two bottles of coffee in his hands. He wordlessly joined me in the car before I pulled out of the driveway.