Anchor- A JJ Maybank Fanfic

24. The Rumoured Lie

The Rumoured Lie
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I stared at JJ, speechless and horrified by what he just confessed. He stared at me back, and I could see it in his eyes, the fear and regret crowding in them. My skin felt itchy once I acknowledged those words. "What?" I asked again, feeling my dry throat squeezing all the air out of me. JJ twirls his rings around as he stares at the ground. He doesn't answer me, which makes me feel even more nauseous. I pulled the covers over my body to make some noise because the silence in this room was suffocating me slowly. "JJ," I choke on his name, "What does that mean?"

JJ hesitates before speaking, "What does what mean?"

I pinch my eyebrows, "The thing you just said."

"What did I say?"

I clung onto the covers a little tighter as I tried to calm my anger from rising, "That you...that you slept with..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I wasn't sure why, but my heart beat faster as my stomach curled every time I thought of the confession. My chest started to burn, which made it harder for oxygen to enter. "That you slept with a girl five times last week." I'm already out of breath just by trying to get that sentence out of my mouth.

JJ doesn't look at me. He's staring at the ground as if he's thinking. A million questions were in my head. Is that what he was doing all last week? Who was this girl? Was he lying? My gut muscles tighten sharply in my stomach, making me feel queasy.

"It's a joke, Merrie, I was kidding," He speaks as he pulls a laugh out of his mouth, "You think I could do that shit five times? And who the hell would I do that with? Come on, Mer, stop being so serious all the time, I'm just kidding."

If only JJ knew how desperate I was to try and laugh with him. But I couldn't. The way he looked at me when he said that is not a face you make when you say a joke. "Why did you look at me like that then?"

"Like what?"

I gulp, "Like...like you were ashamed of saying that, and you looked really guilty-."

"Well, I'm not, okay?" JJ snaps, "I'm not because it didn't happen, I was just saying how good it felt, Mer, I was comparing as if I did." JJ slumps his back to the pillow and rests his head on the black headboard. "Besides, it's not like we're dating or anything, so why would it matter anyway?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but my mind went blank the second I breathed air. Something in me triggered a pain I couldn't quite explain. It felt like that type of burn you get on your skin due to the dropping temperatures in the winter. Like frostbite, but instead of getting it from the cold, it was from the words JJ asserted right now. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest as those phrases scraped against my skin. I didn't understand why my body reacted that way because he was right.

JJ isn't mine. And I'm not his. We're just friends...with benefits. That's all.

But that burning question that I kept floating in my head dug its way out of my brain and to my lips, "Where were you all last week? After that...moment we had in John B's kitchen, you left the next day and we didn't hear from you until four days later." JJ curves his lips as he fiddles with his rings again, nothing answering my question. I sigh, "JJ...where were yo-."

"I was at my house, okay?" He cuts me off with a sharp tone, "Why would you care where I was?"

I huff, "Why would I care? JJ, I was worried for you, and even though I know it was my fault for leading you on like that, you didn't have to run away like that." I tug hair behind my ear as I glance down at my fingers, "And Kie said that you wouldn't have gone to your house for some reason, now you may not have known me enough to trust me," I place my hand on his arm and squeeze it, "But you don't have to lie to me, I'm just concerned."