Codependent

Chapter 41

"Hey there," I said closing the door behind me and walking over to him. He looked up from his book to me smiling softly, oh he was acting so innocent, it was kinda adorable... I just looked at him in an I-know-what-you-did face.

"I'm sorry," he said still acting innocent.

"No you're not," I said smiling and I sat down next to him, he closed his book and turned a bit so he was facing me more.

"Why do you see Bucky as a threat?" I asked more seriously but kindly, I didn't want him to think I was angry, I just wanted to know why to understand him better.

"I don't know, he's not a threat," Loki responded more sadly while he looked away from me.

"Than why treat him like one?" I asked again. He didn't answer for a while and just kept looking away from me sadly, he wasn't comfortable talking about this that was obvious, but I didn't give up yet.

"Tell me your thought, I'm not angry or disappointed," I reassured him and I turned his face to me with my hand holding his cheek and he smiled into my eyes.

"I just think I'm afraid to lose you," he said softly and uncertainly. I made sure he was still facing me and I smiled at him while I felt his sadness within me and it hurt me.

"You won't lose me, and you shouldn't live in the fear of losing me in the future while forgetting to enjoy the life you have now," I spoke softly and his sadness changed into something else.

Relief and hope.

Bipolar? I mean that changed fast!

"How do you know these smart things? I lived much longer than you and still, you understand it all better than me," Loki answered more relaxed and comfortable while I let go of his cheek.

"Sometimes it's easier to point out someone else's behaviour or emotions when you're familiar with them yourself, and we have the urge to help others with their problems rather than face our own," I said.

"Like how I want you to eat and you deny how little you eat?" he said jokingly.

"Shut up," I said acting hurt.

"I mean it, you're not even close to losing me, and I don't want to ever lose you," I said not even thinking about it, and I shocked myself with my words but it felt right.

"I'm still sorry about the last time we kissed," he said softly again.

"I know and I'm sorry I scared you, but I'm totally fine again, it was a sad realisation but I've talked to friends about it and what I should do," I responded.

"And that is?" he asked frowning.

"Take my time, heal in my own way, discover my boundaries and learn how to live with it," I responded and he nodded his head but looked away from me. I took his face and kissed his lips and when I pulled away again his face was showing surprise.

"Remember that conversation we had on vacation, I don't ever want you to act like I'm a fragile doll who's about to break, I hate that," I said still hanging in front of his face and he just smiled at me.

"Okay darling," he said with his deep voice whilst putting his one hand on my waist supporting me, chills went down my spine again and I felt my cheeks burning up.

'Gosh that nickname'

"Ehm... yeah, where did you put my books?" I said sitting back down and standing up looking for my books and Loki was smirking at me.

"On the shelf, and we'll talk about that another time," he said smirking grabbing his own book again.

"About what?" I asked curiously. "The fact that you like that pet name," he simply answered still smirking into his pages.